Dance with the Clown

Chapter 6
Selfish

Nagihiko turned to me, staring at my red face. I was so embarrassed and I was blushing so harshly that my face would make a tomato look pale.

My life is officially over.

I stood up and tried to run, but Nagihiko grabbed my hand.

He pulled the sunglasses off my face and gazed into my eyes. “Is that true?”

I had a second chance! I could easily deny it…

But, I’m not going to. It’s just not worth it. I’ll be subjecting myself to rejection for a second time, but that’s fine. My life’s over, anyways. I’m such a masochist.

I took a deep breath. “Yes.”

Nagihiko smiled as he stood up and stroked my hair. “I like you, too.”

I chuckled. “Yes.”

I couldn’t believe what I heard.

I smiled at him. “Y’know…that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

He chuckled. “Yeah. It’s sorta strange, though. We’ve gone from being rivals to confessing in less than a week.”

I laughed at his observation. “That’s almost as strange as having little chibi people floating over our shoulders all the time.”

We held each other’s hands shyly and laughed.

Unexpectedly, a creeping thought crawled up from the back of my head.

Should I tell him I work for Easter now?

No. I can’t.

This moment was too perfect. Everything was the way it should be.

I wasn’t going to ruin it.

Amu came walking down the sidewalk and spotted Nagi and I.

“Are you two----“ She asked, her sentence trailing off.

Nagihiko and I smiled at her, and she understood.

”FINALLY! You guys should’ve confessed a long time ago.” Amu said.

Of course she knew that we mutually liked each other during all the drama. She just didn’t bother telling us that.

Amu sat down in the middle of the sidewalk suddenly. She looked like something horrible had just dawned on her.

“What’s the matter?” Nagihiko asked.

“Now that you and Rima have confessed, you’re going to spend more time together and I’ll be alone.” Amu said gloomily.

“Amu…” I said.

“I just wish that Nadeshiko was still here. If she was still here, I could hang out with her. I miss her so much.” Amu said, even more sadly than before.

I looked at Nagihiko and I could tell we were both thinking the same thing.

“How badly would it creep you out if I became Nadeshiko for an hour? Would you still accept me? I mean, Amu’s really sad and it would cheer her up…” Nagi whispered in my ear.

“Of course I’d still accept you. Split personality and all.” I whispered back, giggling.

Nagihiko smiled and turned to Amu.

“Actually, Nadeshiko is coming back for the weekend. I’ll go to my house and check to see if she’s home now.” He said to Amu.

Amu’s eyes grew bright and she grinned so big that her mouth took up half of her face.

Nagihiko ran down the block to his house and within five minutes he was back. His hair in a ponytail, wearing a skirt, tanktop, and wearing a cute pair of sandals that I hoped he’d let me borrow sometime.

Amu jumped up and down, with tears of joy in her eyes. “N-N-Nadeshiko! I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you, too, Amu-chan.” Nagihiko said in an extremely feminine voice.

When he was like this, how could anyone possibly even consider that he was a boy?

If I hadn’t known the truth, I honestly would’ve thought that Nadeshiko really was Nagi’s twin sister.

Nagihiko (as Nadeshiko) turned to me.

“Hello! You must be Rima Mashiro. The new Queen’s chair.”

I realized something that Nagi hadn’t…

How long would it take before Amu wondered where Nagihiko was?

“Hey, Nadeshiko, where’d Nagihiko go?” Amu asked.

Nagihiko (still as Nadeshiko) looked at Amu and then to me, telepathically pleading for me to help out.

“Yeah, Nadeshiko, where is he?” I asked.

He pouted, understanding that I wasn’t going to be much of a help.

“Oh, he’s no fun. The three of us should just hang out.” He said, sweat-dropping, using his phony, feminine voice.

He knew why I wasn’t helping. He knew that he should tell Amu the truth. He wasn’t planning to, though.

I sighed and made eye-contact with him. He gave me a look that I understood without words. It’s a secret that is better off being a secret. Nothing was going to change that. At least not anytime soon.

To be honest, maybe Nagihiko’s right not to tell her. If it were me, I wouldn’t tell Amu that I was a cross-dresser with a split personality, either. Maybe it was better that Amu was left in the dark and thought that Nagihiko and Nadeshiko were twins. Nagihiko and I knew the truth, and that’s all that mattered.

It didn’t take Amu long to get over the fact that Nagihiko wasn’t included in the fun. She was too preoccupied with “Nadeshiko”.

“Nadeshiko!” Amu repeated, jumping up and down. How hyper is she? The only person I know that’s more high-strung than Amu is Yaya.

Amu kept hugging Nagi (thinking he was Nadeshiko) and I couldn’t help but feel just a little betrayed. Was it wrong of me to be jealous of my best friend? I mean, she didn’t even know it was really Nagihiko. Nagihiko’s not doing anything wrong, either. When he’s Nadeshikohe’s honestly like an entirely different person. That’s why he has a male chara… and had a female chara.

He has no feelings for Amu. Especially as a girl.

A male and female side of him. That sounds kinda creepy the way I describe it, but to Nagi it makes perfect sense.

Amu’s not doing anything wrong, and neither is Nagihiko. So, why do I feel so betrayed?

They’re just friends, and it’s only hugging.

“So, Nadeshiko, did you hear that Rima and Nagi confessed to each other?” Amu askedNadeshiko.

“I think he mentioned that.” Nagi replied (do I even have to say “as Nadeshiko” anymore?).

How could a boy possibly be able to charade so well as a girl? Feminine voice and all.

“I think it’s about time, too. Rima’s liked him for a long time. She just didn’t realize it till a few days ago.” Amu said.

I dropped my jaw. “Amu… that’s not exactly the best thing to say to… his sister.”

Amu gave me a weird look and turned to Nadeshiko. “You won’t tell Nagi about that, right?”

Nadeshiko (though it was really Nagi) hesitated for a moment. “…I won’t tell.”

Amu, Nadeshiko, and I spent the next hour talking about mindless jibber-jabber until Nagi (yep, you guessed it, as Nadeshiko) said he had to leave. I, of course, said I had to leave as well.

Nagi walked me to his house and I sat on a couch in his living room while he walked upstairs to change.

I felt uncomfortable sitting there, mainly because a nanny of some sort kept staring at me. She had gray hair and a face that was covered with wrinkles and worn with age.

I heard her whisper things to herself about how the “young master” had broken house rules because he “brought a girlfriend home”.

Was I actually his girlfriend? I mean, we confessed to each other, but was it official?

Also, why was I called “a girlfriend”? Were there others?

Nagihiko walked down the stairs after changing into jeans and a navy-blue t-shirt.

The nanny glared at me and then at him.

“Young master, you know that your parents don’t allow you to have a girlfriend in the house.”

Nagi sighed and turned to me. “Wanna go on a walk, Rima?”

I nodded.

I took his hand and he led me out the door.

“Who was that woman? Is she a nanny?” I asked.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that. My parents are almost never home, working at their dance school, so they hired her to watch over me. She’s been my caretaker since I was little. She’s like a grandmother to me.” He replied.

Nagi and I walked past Seiyo Academy where Kazuomi Hoshina was waiting for me.

His face was hidden behind a tree branch, but I recognized him by his suit.

Nagi’s face turned stone-liked and he held my hand a little tighter. He was determined not to let anything happen to me.

“Nagi, relax, it’s my…uncle. I think he wants to talk to me.” I told him. I didn’t like lying to him.

Nagi let go of my hand so I could talk to my “uncle”.

Kazuomi Hoshina walked behind a nearby tree and I followed.

“I knew you were the Queen. You just confirmed it by hanging out with another Guardian.” He said, whispering.

“You caught me. I’m the Queen’s chair. I don’t want to work for Easter anymore.” I replied, also whispering.

He chuckled darkly. “It’s not that simple. You signed a contract.”

“Contracts can rip.”

“If you do a concert with Tara tonight, you’ll be free to go.”

A concert with my worst enemy. Somehow that sounded only slightly more appealing than being buried alive.

He held out his hand. “Do we have a deal?”

I glared at him and shook his hand. “Deal.”

He grinned at me evilly. “Be at the concert arena tonight at 7:00.”

I walked away and tried not to think too hard about it. I had bigger problems to worry about than Easter.

Well, sorta.

I returned to Nagi’s side and, once again, took his hand.

“What did your uncle want to talk about?” Nagihiko asked.

“Um.. he invited me to an upcoming family reunion and wanted me to tell my parents about it.” I replied. The more I lie, the easier it gets. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.

Nagi just nodded. He realized his suspicions were false.

Or so he thought.

We walked around different neighborhoods, and by sunset we were walking on the beach.

There wasn’t much to talk about, so there was an inevitable awkward silence.

I got up my courage and asked Nagi something that was nagging at my mind. “Nagihiko, do you consider me your girlfriend?”

He blushed, looked down at the ground, and replied. “That depends. Do you consider me your boyfriend?”

“You tell me first.” I said.

“No, you tell me first.” He replied.

“This is ridiculous! Just tell each other at the same time.” Rhythm said.

“Seriously! Stop acting so silly.” Kusukusu added.

Nagi and I glared at the charas, but then we realized they were right.

Nagi and I looked at each and took deep breaths.

“Yes.” We said simultaneously.

I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

Out of nowhere, a thought popped up in the back of my mind.

Sunset.

I checked my watch.

6:37 P.M.

Oh no! The concert arena is 20 minutes away if I run.

“Nagi, I’m SO sorry! I have to go!” I said as I ran.

I heard Nagihiko shout as I treaded over yards of sand.

“Where are you going?”

I didn’t answer, and I turned to Kusukusu. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

She glared at me. “It’s your fault for signing a contract with Easter.”

“You could have talked me out of it!” I replied.

“Since when do you listen to me?” She retaliated.

I could hear by pulse race and my breathing become choppy.

I hated running. Why couldn’t I keep my breathing even?

I entered into the concert arena and Kazuomi Hoshina practically pushed me backstage.

“Which would you rather be introduced as? Rima Mashiro or Keiko Nakamura?” He asked, smirking.

I growled through my teeth. “Surprise me.”

All of a sudden, Tara came behind me. She had a chara.

“You’re a character bearer?” I asked her.

She smirked. “Are you surprised?”

“Somewhat. Yes.” I mumbled.

She introduced her chara. The chara was called Yuri.

Yuri had a blue dress with a black ribbon tied around the middle. Nothing too strange about the outfit.

But, I was shocked when I continued to observe her. Her long, blonde hair was tied into pigtails and she stared at me with intense, purple eyes.

Yuri looked like a mini Utau.

“This isn’t your chara.” I said, scowling at her.

She smirked once again. “What makes you say that?”

“If you’re American, why would your chara have a Japanese name?” I asked.

“Stranger things have happened.” She said, shrugging.

“She looks exactly like a chibi Utau.” I hissed.

She gasped for a moment, but nearly immediately regain her calm composure.

“Coincidence.” She said, smirking once again.

I wanted so badly to wipe the hideous smirk from her face.

Without words, she confirmed my suspicion. Yuri was Utau’s chara. She had been stolen.

Tara walked away, but Yuri stayed behind.

“I think you know that Tara is a liar.” She said in a sweet, calm voice.

I nodded.

“Rima-chan, please character transform with me! I’ll help you perform well and then after the concert, you can return me to Utau!” Yuri said.

I was shocked. I can’t character transform with her. “I don’t think I can.”

Yuri continued to stare at me with her unignorable eyes. “Please.”

I swallowed and nodded my head.

“My heart: UNLOCK!” I said.

Yuri smiled as light radiated from my chest and I went through my transformation.

“Character Transformation: Charmed Idol.”

I character transformed with a chara that wasn’t my own. How could that be?

I was dressed in a puffy, sky-blue dress and wore dark-blue ballet flats with ribbons twirling around my legs.

I heard Yuri’s voice from inside of me. “Watashi wa kawaii desu ne?”

“Kawaii de wa nai.” I disagreed.

How could she think I look cute? I look like an oversized doll. It’s ridiculous.

I was shoved on the stage by Kazuomi Hoshina.

“What am I supposed to sing?” I asked.

“Whatever pops in your head.” He replied.

I heard strange music. It was sad and depressing.

My heart sent messages to my head. I sang what came out of my heart and throbbed at my head.

I actually own this time. I wrote the lyrics. They’re not good, so please keep in mind they were written in less than 10 minutes.

A lonely girl who only had one dream.

To make people laugh, be a part of the big scene.

But her heart grew heavy, she believed her dream was dead.

With tears in her eyes, this is what she said:

“What’s the point of dreams?

Why get your hopes up when it ends in such extremes?

Sometimes you have to choose not to continue.

I’m just one more girl who’ll never make it on the venue.”

She was scouted out on a stormy summer night.

When she thought she made it, her eyes twinkled oh-so-bright

But for reasons that are too hard to explain

She was left alone, her tears hidden by the rain.

What’s the point of dreams?

Why get your hopes up when it ends in such extremes?

Sometimes you have to choose not to continue.

She’s just one more girl who never made it on the venue.

Looking back, she knew that she was right.

Never again did her eyes sparkle so bright.

Having dreams will only disappoint you.

How many people have actually made their dreams come true?

What’s the point of dreams?

Why get your hopes up when it ends in such extremes?

Sometimes you have to choose not to continue.

She’s just one more girl who never made it on the venue.

What I say is fact, as harsh as it seems.

There really isn’t a point to everybody’s dreams.

That girl drowned her dream below the sea.

Could you believe that foolish girl was me?

This song… it was exactly how I felt. A year back, before I transferred to Seiyo Academy, I was scouted out by my favorite comedian.

He told me he would take me under his wing and be my mentor. The whole thing turned out to be a cruel joke for a hidden camera show.

I looked to the audience and saw how many X-eggs I had created.

How could I be so selfish?! I signed up for Easter because I had been angry at Nagi and thought I could quit the Guardians and be a singer.

How could I think that my own personal problems were worth more than the dreams of innocent kids?

I looked out in the audience with tears in my eyes and saw that Nagihiko was sitting in the back. He had followed me here.

Nagi rushed up on stage. He glared at me.

“How could you---“ He tried to say, but I cut him off.

“Be so selfish?” I said, sobbing.

He sighed. “We have to hurry.”

From behind Nagi came a long-haired chara in a pink kimono.

Temari.

“You have to power down and character-transform with Kusukusu. I’ll character-transform with Temari.” He instructed.

In an instant, Yuri popped out of my chest.

Kusukusu was in front of me in an instant.

“My heart: UNLOCK!

Character transformation: Clown Drop!”

Temari appeared in front of Nagi and they transformed.

“My heart: UNLOCK!

Character Transformation: Yamato Maihime!”

I was dazzled for a moment. Nagi was dressed in a long, pink kimono that emphasized how tall he was, had his hair up, and had a pair of butterfly wings on the back.

Even though he’s a boy, he was beautiful.

“Rima, take my hands.” He said in his Nadeshiko voice.

I grabbed his hands obediently, and I knew what to do.

“Charming.” He said.

“Beautiful.” I said.

“Queen’s Waltz!” We said together.