My Everything

Chapter 6

Where was she?

The signs of her existence in the green house, at the coffee table, sitting with everyone were there. The ridiculously high piles of textbooks that made a makeshift enclosure, a steaming rare antique cup of English tea accompanied by today a couple of soft shortbread biscuits beside the paper walls, a cloud of a hurried aura was still looming; but her presence was gone. Sure for anyone else they would just imagine the head of black hair behind those walls, but it could not fool me. There could be all the disguises in the world thrown at her, even the master of disguise of the underground crime system could attempt to hide her, but I could never fool me. I could feel her presence, the air which she carried with her constantly; and it was not here.

I was worried.

I quickly made a conscious note on my facial expression and put it in check. Indifference. I could not let slip so easily. I was the Kei; the cold indifferent genius prodigy that was the sole heir to the Takishima Group. Really school was not necessary for me, and most of my friends currently sitting around the green house for the matter; by the time I was the age to graduate primary school I had been at university level of intelligence. But like the others, I wanted to come to school. Maybe not for exactly the same reasons, but underneath the first priority the explanation for our inclination to attend school was similar. For us, being mostly the children of the highest of all high class families in the country, attending a normal school had been nearly impossible for us. As childhood friends we knew that about each other, we were different from the other kids; become alienated or used. We were thankful for this establishment.

If grandfather was to find out my inclination with Hikari, I wouldn’t know what would happen. Actually it would probably involve pulling me out of school firstly, then forcing me again to work for the company with father. The only reason that he allowed my attendance was the company that I would be keeping there. It was important to build good relationships for business early he said. Also he had noted something about me getting more people skills or something; it wasn’t like he had many. Although he had countless connections with the largest names in finance and business around the world, I had inherited the indifferent attitude that I carried from when I was a child for him.

Also the reactions from the rest of my friends if my inclination with Hikari became an open fact were inevitable and predictable.

Unfortunately, the little fact was not as secretive as I would have liked to think it was. For a moment Tadashi averted his attention away from the laid out tea set to look at me and humorously ask me the question he knew I didn’t want to hear.

“Looking for Hikari ne Kei?”

Was my face that revealing? I had thought that I had fixed up my expression quite well. Maybe I was losing my indifferent air. Which is good thing in that the similarities between myself and grandfather decreases; but not in this moment. I didn’t want to have to go through the humiliation I would be subject to if the not very secretive fact became a spoken open fact.

My eyes just bored into him and I turned to walk over to the antique table where an enormous pile of books were piled.

So many books.

Of course I had seen all of these before. Solved every question. Not that I needed to of course. Even though I was considered a genius I took every precaution to stay on top. So not to be beaten by Hikari.

While my eyes slowly scanned the numerous volumes and my fingertips softly stroked the binds I wondered: was that my only fear?

The only thing that took all my concentration was my fixation with this outwardly seeming insignificant girl. All my life I had moved forward with indifference, not a care. Nothing eve r was complicated, or difficult. Everything came easily for me. There had been nothing ever that I had longed for; or wanted that I couldn’t obtain instantly. Was that why I had this growing fear inside me? My childhood friends, that now surrounded me with watching eyes, knew of my past and some even a few of my darkest secrets; not that I had many. It was difficult to make good friends at this level of society. As if a child couldn’t see that you were just there for the money. For years all of us had been shunned by our own peers, and utilized by adults. Maybe this was the common ground we stood on. The ground that Hikari didn’t even know.

It was amusing how one girl could consume my entire being so easily. Here I was: Kei Takishima; in all that I embodied, now just an obsesser over one small object. How pathetic. Fearing the loss of something I didn’t have.

I suppose in a way my fear is justified.

There is nothing strongly holding us together, that we are both aware of. Anything that could sabotage even the smallest chance I detested, and fought against. But to her I was probably just one of these text books: emotionless, full of knowledge, a challenge to overcome. And then when, like the endless questions, were completed and she was on the end of the last page she could probably discard me for the next book that she had on her pile.

I had to get the one thing that was not like anything else in my life.

The only thing that was real.

My eyes and fingertips lingered on the worn book for just a moment longer. Not a moment too long to be noticed as slightly possessive and creepy. Tadashi had resumed his adoration for Akira’s sweets. Ryuu his focus on the animals, with the twins not far behind. Akira was making the last touches to make her tea look ‘positively wonderful’. And here was I, longing again to see that streak of black hair.

Slightly disturbingly, the silent Ryuu seemed to see through all my actions, however brief. His quietness hid his knowledge of everything and his acute awareness. His eyes let off a all knowing twinkle. Meeting my gaze he looked slightly to the left, a gesture that would go unnoticed by everyone else. With a small upwards twitch of his lips he beckoned me, and with a small nod encouraged me.

To the left.