Adolescence

Chapter 4

I woke up long before my twin. I didn't feel like getting up without him, so I lay staring up at his sleeping face. I absent mindedly ran a hand along his strong jaw. Oh I'd noticed the differences between us alright, and I liked some of them, well the differences in him. It was true, our bodies had become completely different, and it was like we weren't even twins anymore! A small smile had graced his lips as he slept, I wondered if he was having a good dream. I wondered if he was dreaming about a girl, the way I dreamt about my prince. Actually, at the angle I was staring at him he looked just like my prince only asleep. A crazy impulse ran through my mind I wonder if he's my prince...I wonder...if it would feel good to kiss him...I even began to move towards him, a little dazed as my face got closer to his. I think I would've done it as well, but his eyelids began to flutter, he was waking up! I moved away, perplexed, why had I even tried to do that? I moved a fair distance away from him, as if this would reverse what I had tried to do. It didn't seem like he'd noticed, as he smiled drowsily down at me before speaking.

"Good morning princess" He grinned at me sleepily, pulling me into and embrace and kissing the top of my head. I suddenly felt self-conscious; I remembered what our mother had said last night. I didn't want him to touch me! I wriggled free of his grasp, a little frightened as I saw the irritated expression on his face. I'd offended him...I sat up, not wanting to meet his disapproving gaze. I blushed as the bedcovers slipped down, exposing my bare legs to him. I blushed, quickly pulling the hem of my nightgown down; I didn't want him to see my legs! I glanced up at him, seeing him looking angry frightened me, I wasn't sure why, he'd never harmed me before.

"Why do you do that?" Len asked me irritably, I could tell it bothered him but I couldn't help it! What would I say to him? I don't feel comfortable when you stare at me. Before I could form a response he continued. "It's not like you have bad legs" He frowned at me as he spoke, resting his hand on my leg. I flinched without meaning to.

"Len please don't touch my legs" I blurted out without thinking, shoving his hand away from my leg. It was clear to me that I'd offended him as he glared hatefully at me. I blinked up at him innocently, hoping to melt his anger away. It didn't work; he got up from the bed before speaking again.

"Look Rin I don't know why you're so modest lately but I would never harm you alright?" He spoke sounding hurt. He turned away from me, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him. I was left alone feeling horrible. I'm so sorry Len; I wasn't trying to hurt you. I could feel my eyes beginning to sting again. No I won't cry today, not over this. It was nothing...just a little argument...I wiped quickly at my eyes; no I refused to get emotional! Feeling glum I decided to take a shower. I might as well, it would give both of us the chance to calm down. I moved slowly towards the dresser, in no hurry this morning. Picking a dress out I sauntered to the bathroom, for once not bothering to lock the door behind me, after all, I wouldn't be that long, and Len wouldn't be back up for a while if he was in a bad mood with me.

I discarded my clothes, switching the shower on and climbing in. I sighed letting the water drench me completely. I pretended it was washing my problems away. I wondered if Len thought this way when he was in the shower. I shampooed my blonde hair, flipping it back as I rinsed it, pretending my hair were long enough for me to be a princess. Len seemed to think I was a princess; it was his favourite nic-name for me. I twisted a wet strand of hair around my index finger as I pictured his handsome face smiling down at me...Are you alright my princess? I blushed as I thought of him. I was his princess, at least that's what he always said...The water cascaded down, separating me from the difficulties of life. I always felt as if I were in a completely different place in the shower, you were alone with no one to bother you or interrupt your thoughts. Then why were my thoughts turning to Len again? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him?

I stepped carefully out of the shower, standing in front of the mirror completely naked. I watched the droplets of water dripping from my wet hair, which had clumped together to resemble blonde rat tails. I ran my fingers through it, attempting to separate it out. My eyes travelled the length of the mirror, taking in my new assets. I rarely looked at my body naked; I hated seeing the thing that made Len and me so different. Yet today I had plucked up the courage to do it. I ran my hand along my hip the same way Len had the previous night, shivering a little as I did. I wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it made my body tingle whenever he did it. I smiled a little, at least my waist was still small, it cinched in more than it ever had before, making my hips look even larger in comparison. My chest...well...they'd certainly grown a lot. As irritational as they were, they'd begun to grow on me. They made me a woman, something I'd longed to be when I'd been a little girl. I turned to the side so I could inspect myself from another angle, not noticing a breeze had blown the door open a little too far. I jumped, hearing the sound of the bathroom door closing, turning on my heel to see Len standing before me, though he was staring down at his watch.

"Len?" I spoke automatically, my voice unusually high with fear. He looked up casually, though his face fell as he noticed me. His cheeks flushed red as he stared at my body. My heart pounded ferociously within my chest, I was locked in here with him! I was nude, oh this was so embarrassing! I looked desperately around, snatching a small hair towel from the wrack, holding it against my chest which he was staring intently at. He could see I was naked couldn't he? So why wouldn't he leave?

"Len I'm not wearing anything! Leave!" I demanded my voice a little croaky all of a sudden. At this I had expected him to leave apologising vigorously as my Len would, yet he didn't. In fact, he did the very opposite, he took a step closer to me. My heartbeat quickened, I could hear it beating in my ears. His eyes had lost their shine as if they were glazed over with some alien emotion, his gaze travelled up and down my body, staring at everything but my face. I pulled the useless towel tighter around my body in an attempt to break his gaze, but realised this was only emphasising my body more. I blushed furiously as he lifted his arm, reaching out for me, I was horrified! I could feel warm tears blurring my vision, sitting in the corner of my eyes. I wanted him to stop this! He sounded breathless as he stretched his arm a little further towards me, I couldn't what he was doing, this wasn't my Len!

"Len" I whimpered. I was terrified, I'd never seen him that way before, it was as if something had taken over him, like he had no control. Hearing my voice he shook his head, dropping his arm to my relief. His eyes widened a little before he looked away, his cheeks bright red with embarrassment.

"Next time close the door" He mumbled, a frown upon his face. He fled the bathroom, shutting the door tightly behind him. I was leant up against the mirror, not realising I'd actually backed away from him. I slid to the floor, trembling uncontrollably. I broke into tears of shame, relief and fear. He was right; if I'd closed the door he wouldn't have seen me! I clutched the thin towel to my face, hiding my face among its folds. I sobbed silently, shivering a little from the cold. I sat in there for a long time just crying. Why had he acted so strangely? The way he'd looked at my body...I knew it wasn't innocent, I just knew it was wrong. Otherwise I wouldn't feel so dirty! He'd wanted to touch me, he'd reached out in attempt, but why did he want to? I was his sister, and they way his eyes had glazed over, that wasn't they way you looked at your sibling.

I nervously stood up again, retrieving a larger towel from the rack and drying myself off. I contemplated Len's peculiar behaviour. I didn't want to believe my brother was attracted to me, I refused to believe it! If he was mom and dad would split us up for sure. Maybe...he had dreams like I did, of a beautiful girl dancing with him, and he wanted her so badly, any girl...after all he was a teenage boy, he was at an age where he was curious about girls, just as I was curious about boys. That had to be it! He'd never seen a teenage girl's body before, so he'd been...curious? I nodded to myself, not entirely convinced, but oh, I'd make myself believe it! I'd make him believe it! I finally dressed, brushing my hair through before leaving the bathroom.

He was lying down on his back on our bed, staring with a puzzled expression on his face up at the ceiling; however, noticing I had entered, he sat up quickly to look at me. My face this time. He bit his lip nervously; I could tell he was ashamed about what had happened. I felt sympathy for him, my poor twin. He hadn't meant any harm. I stared at him apprehensively before slowly walking towards him. I was still a little scared he'd attempt to touch me again, but seeing the sorrowful look on his face I sighed, moving at a quicker pace.

"I'm so sorry...something came over me...I didn't mean to..." He stammered hopelessly, I pitied him all of a sudden. He was scared the same as me, he didn't understand what had happened either. He attempted to explain himself but the words wouldn't form properly. I held a finger to his mouth to silence him. I smiled understandingly down at him, my innocent brother.

"It's alright...I think I understand" I said carefully. I do? I stroked his hair gently as he would to me in such a situation. He tilted his head curiously at me before replying.

"You do?" He questioned, reiterating my own thoughts. I nodded, giving him the sweetest smile I could muster. Yes, I understood perfectly, for who could understand my twin better than me? I looked away, feeling uncomfortable saying what I was about to say.

"You've never seen a teenage girl naked before so...you were curious" I told him reassuringly, though not looking into his eyes. I glanced back at him to see him nodding slowly, he was smiling as if it all made perfect sense to him now. He grinned up at me proudly. He looked admirable when he smiled. He attentively took my hand in his, standing and smiling at me the same as he always did, before leading me downstairs to the kitchen.

We stopped at the kitchen doorway, and I noticed our parents seated at the breakfast table. It was unusual for them to be home, their presence worried me. Len squeezed my hand reassuringly. I guessed they were here due to their 'hushed' conversation the previous night. Our mother looked disapprovingly up at us, noticing we were holding hands.

"What took you both so long? We're very busy you know." I could feel Len glancing at me, I looked his way, catching his eye and mutually agreeing with him, not to mention what happened in the bathroom earlier. I followed his lead, moving to the table the same time as him, sitting at the same time. I felt him squeeze my hand as we sat down together; I squeezed back letting him know we were together on this.

"Well we think it's time you both started sleeping in separate beds..." The discussion began this way, and continued with them repeating the conversation they'd had last night, except to us. They threw in all that rubbish about us 'getting to a certain age', and 'being curious'. I glanced nervously at Len when she mentioned being curious, wasn't that what had happened earlier? I spend the entire conversation psyching myself up to cry that would stop them tearing us apart! Our dad couldn't refuse me anything when I started the water works.

"Please, you can't separate us we're twins, a pair!" I started to let my voice wobble, clasping my hands to my chest in a saintly way. I could see them starting to soften up, so I let a few tears begin to slip from my eyes. I could see the beginnings of regret in their eyes; it was time to kick it up a notch.

"Please daddy, mommy, give us a chance, if we give you any reason to separate us after this then by all means do so! But please, we've done nothing wrong, and this is like a punishment! Please!" I allowed my tears to flow down my face; I felt them trickle down my chin and didn't try to stop them. Oh it was working; they were putty in my hands. Father was the first to cave, he always is, and after that it didn't take mother long either. We'd cracked them, and finally they agreed to let us stay together. Together we thanked them, leaving the kitchen hand in hand, huge smiles plastered across our faces.