Adolescence

Chapter 6

Every night for two weeks I was locked away in my room, each night a teary goodnight would take place between Rin and myself, and I could tell it broke our parent's hearts to see us so torn, but it seemed necessary. They would no longer make eye contact with me, and that almost killed me, I missed their warmth, even if they were absent a lot of the time, they were still my parents, and their cold stares and single word answers stung me. Though amazingly they still left us alone together at night they had created for Rin to contact help in a desperate situation if need be.

What killed me more than anything else was the fact that my attraction to Rin was growing stronger, I wanted to switch it off, force it to go away, but it seemed there was no way. At night we would sit in our-sorry-her room and talk, talk about anything and everything. I'd brush her glossy hair as she'd remind me of some story from our past. I'd laugh, but secretly I'd be thinking about her hair, how I wanted to lie next to her again and hold a lock of her hair, to stroke it.

One night we sat on the edge of her now yellow covered bed, simply talking about our parents and how harsh they were on me, though I argued that what I had done was wrong Rin kept referring to it as what I'd almost done but didn't do, and that was what they kept forgetting. Her loyalty to me was astonishing. Even after I'd almost raped her she still seemed to love me sincerely and believe more than I did that I was innocent, it touched me really, and made me love her all the more.

"Rin...I really really appreciate you sticking up for me, and your belief in me, you seem to have more faith in me than I do" I spoke from the heart, wanting her to know how precious she really was to me. I missed dancing with her, but we were no longer allowed into the ballroom, something both of us sorely missed, having used it for so long, it had so many happy memories; it seemed foolish to ban us from it due to the one and only bad one.

"Well it seems I really am the smart twin if I'm the only one who realises you wouldn't have done it" She laughed lightly, placing her hand on mine and squeezing it gently. At this that surge of feeling ran up my spine again, I stared at her, blushing. Her smile faded as she stared up at me into my eyes. We were both silent, the atmosphere tense, I could feel the terrible feeling taking over me again. Why so suddenly? I leaned in closer to her, I stared at her soft pink lips, I could kiss them...I leaned a little closer. Was it my imagination or was she leaning in closer as well? A sudden thought occurred to me, what if she felt this way as well? This notion had never crossed my mind before I had assumed it was all me, but now that I really thought about it, she'd never really retaliated against my actions. Perhaps she'd attempted to, but I knew my twin, and she was capable of being independent when the time came. She was a lot tougher than she seemed, and thinking back, I wondered why she hadn't fought me harder that night...

"Why didn't you fight me that night?" I whispered, moving my face away, suddenly more curious then lustful. She stared at me as if in a trance before blinking a few times to awaken herself, she seemed to have been under the spell as well, perhaps it wasn't only me.

"I don't know", was all she could manage to answer, as the grandfather clock chimed midnight, like one of our story books, I fled from her room, knowing mom and dad would be home any moment, I sprinted to my own room, shutting the door tightly behind me, fearful of what they might do if they caught us sitting so close. I'd almost kissed her, and she hadn't turned me away. She'd almost admitted to not fighting me off. Now I understood why she was so eager to defend me. She wanted it just as much as I did. I lay in bed on my back, grinning suddenly feeling happier than I had in weeks. I didn't feel like such a monster anymore as I stared up at the intricate pattern painted on to the ceiling wondering, so, did this make us both as bad as each other? I heard the lock on the door, alerting me to the fact I'd run back to my own room at just the right time. Suddenly things seemed to be looking up.