Adolescence

Chapter 1

Spinning, spinning, around and around. I'm leading, albeit with much difficulty! I blush, trying to keep my head down, why is it suddenly so hard to do this? This is our 'eternal dance', as I like to call it, we've been participating in it since we were children and now...Now I seem to have lost the ability to dance! I become more and more frustrated as we continue, it goes on and on, and I keep faltering! Why am I faltering? Does he notice my sudden lack of skill? If so he doesn't mention it. I'm secretly relieved as the dance ends. We part, and we gaze mutually into one another's eyes. We needn't speak, we both know now it's his turn to lead. He sighs a sigh that makes me melt, as he pulls my body close to his, pulling his strong arm around my tiny waist. We lace our fingers together, and I feel a strange emotion, like a rush of electricity, a sudden connection between us, and I don't think it's because we're twins. He leads me around as if he were a professional...he's so distant tonight! I consider this a blessing, hoping that this means he doesn't notice my horrible dancing! I glance down at my chest and blush, quickly looking away. That's the reason I can't dance anymore...I'm jealous as Len moves perfectly, I should be moving perfectly! We've danced this way for as long as I can remember, everyday...I lay my head against his hard chest, and I can hear his heartbeat quickening. Am I making him nervous? Or is he just tired?

The dance ended once again. Only this time Len smiled at me wearily, running a hand through his flaxen blond fringe. I notice the dark circles beneath his blue eyes. I tilted my head slightly as he stumbled towards the mirror. I frowned, he was acting very oddly. In fact, he'd been acting very strange lately. I was beginning to think he no longer liked me since he hadn't acted differently towards our parents, then again we didn't really see our parents enough for me to judge...He gripped the edge of the oak chest of drawers tightly, I could hear him sighing deeply. I wondered if he was depressed. I hoped not. I noticed his hand shaking as he tightened his pitiful little ponytail. It was so small it was barely worth tying up! Yet he didn't look like Len without it. I frowned again; he was shaking, what did that mean...

I sauntered towards him, hoping to console him in some way. Truth be told I had no idea what was wrong, we didn't seem to confide in one another as much as we used to, but I promised myself I would do what I could to make him feel better! As I moved closer to him I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling myself close to him. I embraced him, taking in his scent by sniffing his shoulder. He smelt of cologne...I presumed father had lent him some. I liked the smell; it made him seem more like a man than a boy. I stood on my toes to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. When did he get so tall? I thought to myself, taking one arm away from his waist and moving to his side. I raised an eyebrow wondering what he found so fascinating about staring into the mirror. I'd begun to loathe mirrors lately, since they reminded me of how distant we'd become from one another, even when we were standing side by side. I rested my head on his shoulder the way a lover might, a little embarrassed by this, it was okay, we were twins.

I stared hatefully at my reflection. I hated myself! I looked so ugly! I was the reason Len and I were so different now and I knew he knew it as well. I couldn't bear looking at my new curves, so instead focussed on him. He was a vision. A man if there ever was one. His arms had become so large, he had muscles which I had come to love. When we danced I loved feeling his muscles, they made me feel so safe. His jaw looked so strong compared to mine! I wasn't sure why I noticed this feature but I liked it. I watched his hard chest rise and fall as he breathed. Another thing that made me feel so safe in his presence! Oh he'd become so handsome...I could hear his breathing distorting if you will. It sounded shallow, and the color had drained from his face. I pondered to myself, could he be ill? I wanted so badly to care for him, my brother; I never wanted to let anything harm him! I caught a glimpse of his expression in the mirror, it was peculiar. The way he was staring at my body, I was curious, why did he look at me in that way?

"Len" I whispered, not entirely sure why I had said his name in this way, and praying he hadn't noticed.

"Yes" He replied, his voice sounded raspy, what on Earth could be wrong with my dear brother? Still, I decided to continue with my question, he didn't tell me anything anymore, the least he could do was answer me.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him, speaking a little louder than I had intended. I watched his cheeks color, I'd embarrassed him. He took his time before answering, gently pushing my arm away from his waist. A stabbing pain shot through my heart quickly. Ouch, that hurt. Perhaps he really didn't like me anymore; perhaps that was what he'd been thinking about for so long. We spent so much time together; he was probably bored of me. A boy like him probably didn't want to spend all of his time with his twin sister. I raised a defensive hand to my chest, as if the movement would make the aching stop. I felt as if he'd rejected me! I thought I would cry, why was I so damn emotional lately?

"O-oh...uh...just...u-us" he stuttered, was he avoiding the question so he didn't hurt me? He stared down at the floor, I was glad of this as I quickly wiped a tear away from my eye. No, I wouldn't let him see he'd hurt me. I wasn't entirely sure why I felt so hurt anyway, he hadn't actually said he disliked me, I'd just come to assume this. I'd become so touchy.

"I was thinking about how different we are..." He mumbled. Oh that was it, he was depressed by the fact we were changing so rapidly. I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt the same way, and I was glad we both shared the same thoughts on this.

"Mmm, me too, I was just thinking about how much we've changed..." I trailed off. That's right, he was becoming a man, and I was becoming a woman. It's funny how different the two genders really are. I stared at him in the mirror; he had his arm lifted as he scratched his head. His arms...I loved them...I blushed, turning back to stare at him, what was I thinking? He was my brother, and I was pretty sure sisters weren't meant to find their brother's attractive! He moved again, to the large window. It was a gorgeous night, the bright Moon lit up the ground of the mansion. We were lucky to have such a beautiful home. He looked like a prince as he stood by the window, the Moon gently illuminating his form. I secretly longed for a prince.

"Mom and Dad aren't home yet." He mentioned, breaking me from my train of thought. I could tell from his tone he wasn't actually worried by this. Our parents weren't particularly close to us. We were a rich family, and our parents often had parties and social events to attend. When we'd been younger they'd left us alone with the servants for days on end. Now we were teenagers they left us alone. We didn't need supervision anymore. We didn't mind, Len and I were very close. On a few rare occasions our parents had attempted to introduce us to these social occasions. Neither of us were interested. We were perfectly content together, and though people tried to approach us, our one word replies and lack of interest put them off. My mother kept telling me it was the only way I'd meet a suitable husband. I didn't want a husband though; all I wanted was my twin. I seemed to attract boys. On the evenings we'd attended quite a few young men had approached me. They'd walk over to me hesitantly and try their best to flirt with me. I wasn't in the least bit interested. Len would watch warily nearby as the boys tried to chat me up. Once he saw I was unamused he would move in and politely hint to them that I was not interested. Our parents had given up after that, and now we stayed home and danced, we'd danced since we were young children. Our parents would disapprove if they knew we were still up at such a late hour. I sighed, deciding it was probably time to call it a night.

"We should go to bed before they return, or else they'll get angry." I told him. I saw him nod as he glided away from the window towards me. My prince. He took my hand in his...why was it he'd grown so much, even his hands were larger than mine! We moved quickly through the dark corridors. We lived in an old mansion, and though we'd outgrown ghost stories long ago, an old house at night can still be a frightening place. When we'd been children we'd ran through these halls hand in hand, trying to escape the 'boogie man'. The memory brought a small smile to my lips.