It was that time of the year again, the season of white. I hate this season; it has no life, what-so-ever. It was always cold, dull and the snow will fall continuously- making everything white; making everything- lifeless.
I turned and look at her. My one and only twin sister, Rin.
"Rin..."
She didn't bulge. She stayed where she was, sitting. Rin was sitting on a chair that faced the living room's window. She was sentimentally looking outside. The dull and lifeless world.
I walked towards her, and stopped at her back. Still didn't even move an inch. I sat next to her and stare between her and the outside world. No sign of her knowing about my presences being near.
"The snow is so pretty" I heard her say in admiration.
How can a lifeless thing be pretty? There is nothing good about the snow. It's lifeless, I hate winter and snow. It reminds me so much of you. You're slowly turning into pure white. Lifeless, but you still manage to let out a smile. Why things must be like this? I don't want you to turn to that; don't turn to white- don't leave me.
I found the tips of my hand touched hers. She turned and faced me; she gave me a warm smile. How can you smile so warmly? How can you be this strong? Doesn't it hurt? Rin...
She stood up, took my hands and led me in front of our grand piano. It was old and rusty, we barely use it anymore. I stared at her only to find her signaling for me to play the piano. I took a seat on the chair and placed my hands on the white and black keys of the piano. I look at her and back at the piano, where I began playing a soft melody. The melody sounded sentimental, nostalgic. That's when Rin started to sing. But...
Rin was singing the wrong song.
She was singing a warm, heart melting song. She didn't sing the songs she used to sing; emotional, disconsolate, and barren.
I stopped playing, she continued singing. She didn't know I stopped, because there was no way she could have known. She couldn't hear anything, not even her own voice, yet she continued to sing happily. I faced her... she was smiling as she sings the high notes. Her voice cracks every now and then. She was singing the song in different pitches that weren't suppose to be. My face was dull, I reached for Rin and she looked at me. She pouted and asks me why I stopped playing. I didn't give her a reply and kept staring at her absent-mindedly.
She puffed her cheeks as she drags me outside- the lifeless and dull world. It was cold, but I didn't care. Isn't cold Rin? Why are you dragging me outside to the cold? She kept dragging me and stopped under a massive tree in no where. It was a huge field, and the tree was just standing in the middle of it.
It was the place where we use to play all day. It was a cherry blossom tree. But it's dead, for it was the snow's fault. The tree became lifeless like the snow; it was cover with a pile of whiteness.
Rin ran forward and faced me. She gave me a warm smile. I just stare back at her, with no emotion written on my face whatsoever. She opened her mouth and heard her speak.
"Come on Len! Quit acting so emotional! I don't want to be sad, I don't want to sing sad songs..."
Her smile now turned into a warm soft angelic small smile as she spoke once more.
"All I want is smile and laugh with you..."
Everything is a blur. Time was going too fast. I was in my own world, not minding what was going on around me. Rin. She was smiling, giggling as she plays with the pile of snow.
She threw a snowball flat on my face. My hands slowly find their ways to my face. I touch the snow lifelessly. It's cold.
'Kill joy! Come on and have fun with me Len! This might be my last winter you know!'
She said it so casually. Last winter... her last winter... with me.
Rin... Rin... Rin...
'Hey!' She came up to me and waved both her palms on my face. 'You act like you can't hear anything I'm saying. What? How does my voice sounds like now anyway? Is it that horrible that it killed your eardrums?'
I held up my own palms and touched hers. I only reply with a smile, a true genius smile. Its futile say something, not like you can hear it anyway. That's right, you can't hear it. She smiled softly back at me. Your voice is beautiful, graceful- more exquisite than any flower there is, than any melody there is. I want you to know that, I want to tell you that. But it won't matter. You can't hear my voice... can't hear me.
'It sounds beautiful' I murmured.
You smile at me; it's like you heard what I said. But you already knew I would say something like that.
Without a thought of realization I reached out my hands to her. I held her tightly around my arms. I felt her arms slid behind my back as she embraces me back. I weep quietly. Can you hear me crying Rin? Of course you can. In this moment where every sound was put on mute, everything was quiet. The white snow gently kept on flowing down from the sky. It hurts me to say that this will be a sad ending. I couldn't face it. I couldn't face the truth.
'Don't cry, Len' you whispered into my ear. It's not like you meant it to be a whisper, it's because you couldn't speak anymore.
I knew what's going to happen next. But I couldn't bear to face it. Your arms slips down from my back and now hanging numb beside you. I too, started to feel weak and knelt on the cold floor that was covered in snow. No matter, I still held onto your lifeless body gently. I kept on crying, thinking if my tears will be able to melt the snow.
I screamed out your name over and over. Say something! Anything! Please... Tell me if you're in pain. Tell me if you're feeling lonely. Please. I'll come find you where ever you are. I'm begging you, don't go. Don't leave me like this. Aren't we sharing the same soul? Isn't it unfair to leave me all alone behind?
'Thank you, for everything. Thank you Len' you finally spoke before completely fading away.
The snow covers every bit of the both of us. You slowly disappear from me. I embrace you tightly. There's nothing I could possibly do. Nothing at all. Maybe, just maybe. If you could just speak to me. One more time let me hear your voice. Call out my name... please speak to me.
I gaze over at your sleeping face, caressing it tenderly. I closed my eyes, the eyes that don't work anymore. It's not like they can see a thing now. It's not like a have any need for it. All I see now was pitch black. A dark world that is motionless. Everything is gone. All that is left is the white snow.
I can feel it. The snow has left my body gone numb. With my last strength and sense of feeling, I gave you once last embrace before I lost the ability to hold you. Your body has now become cold, or was it my own body? Your voice is also gone. You can't open those eyes of yours anymore. And for me, I can't do anything. I can't even melt away with you. Look at me again, look at me and smile at me again. Please Rin? My tears, they no longer exist. No matter how much I cry, no matter how hard I scream, they can't bring you back.
Please, I ask you one thing. If you... if you could take my voice away from me. Take it and give it to the person I hold dearest. I am nothing without her. For she is my other part, the other part of me. Without her I am incomplete. I'm all alone. She already had left me. If I'm left all alone in this cruel world without your presence beside me, then let me disappear with you. Let me wither beside your cold body.
You slowly slip away from my grasp. I open my eyes to only see whiteness. My sight was a blur. I could only see a part of you as you lay on the cold snow. Slowly I found my hands touch yours. I felt nothing. Your warmth is not longer there, and mines either. I just stare at you lifelessly, like the snow that is slowly covering you.
Rin. I love you. I love you Rin. And I am unable to tell you that now. I screamed again in depression. There was no one around to stop me. There was no one around to hear all my screams. This hateful world of ours is slowly falling apart, crumbling apart, idly fading away. I scream with all my might. But even so, even if I scream with everything I have, neither you nor your voice will come back.
This is harsh. I am hurt and lonely. I look up into the sky. Pure white was falling down. More and more each second. Falling snow, please I beg of you, don't ever stop falling. I want you to take me away with that person I love. There's no reason for me to be in this painful world without her. Allow everything to wilt away by the snow along with the sadness in my voice.
I lay on the cold snow beside her. My hands still held with her hands. We'll be together now, won't we Rin? In that place you went to. I'll be able to sing with you, laugh with you. We'll be able to be happy in that place. I told you didn't I? I will always find you where ever you go. I will always be with you. Just wait for me Rin. I'll be with you soon.
I will... turn to white.
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