Chicken Hair and Wease Man

"Neji…"

"Hai?"

"…Do you think I'm pretty?"

"No."

"…Will you be upset if I leave you?"

"No."

"Do you like me?"

"No."

Tenten stood up to leave when she felt Neji's hand on her wrist. She turned around and looked into his eyes.

"I don't think you're pretty, you're beautiful. I wouldn't be upset if you left me, I'd die. I don't like you, I love you."

Tenten smiled and threw herself on Neji, "I LOVE YOU NEJI!"

They sat down on the cliff again, and Tenten rested her head on Neji's shoulder as they watched the sunset.

Perfect moment, yes? Too bad it was ruined… by non other than the…

YOUTH DUO!

No, no, it wasn't them this time for once. It was…

GIANT MUTANT PENGUINS!

Okay, I'll get to point. It was…

THE UCHIHA BROTHERS!

Okay, I'm SERIUOS this time!

"AHHHHHH, GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CHICKENS!" Sasuke yelled.

"NOO, YOU ARE OUR LEADER WITH YOUR CHICKEN HAIR!"

"I DON'T HAVE CHICKEN HAIR, IT'S JUST SPIKY!"

"NO, YOU ARE OUR LEADER! WE THE CHICKENS SHALL DO WHATEVER YOU WISH!" the chickens er… bawked.

"Oh my god…"

"Uchiha is…"

"Being chased by CHICKENS," Tenten finished laughing.

"No. Uchiha is being attacked by weasels."

The two turned around and saw none other, than the missing S-class nin, Akatsuki member, Uchiha Itachi.

"DON'T KILL MEE!" Tenten screamed clinging on to Neji.

Itachi let out a sigh, "Relax, I won't kill you. Will you kill these weasels?" he asked showing them the weasels that attached themselves onto his robe thing, and the horde behind him.

"YOU ARE OUR LEADER! WE THE WEASELS SHALL DO WHATEVER YOU WISH! WITH YOUR POWER, WE CAN DESTROY THE CHICKENS!"

"CHICKENS RULE!"

"WEASELS RULE!"

Neji and Tenten sweat dropped.

"I'll help Itachi, you help Sasuke, 'kay?" Tenten suggested getting up.

Neji nodded and jumped off the cliff.

"Soooo…" Tenten started looking at Itachi and the weasels.

"Get. Rid. Of. Them."

"Ya know… you could start calling yourself weasel man…"

"Mangeky-"

"NONONONO, I WAS KIDDING!" Tenten yelled.

Itachi relaxed and his eyes returned to their normal Sharingan state.

"So… how do we get rid of them?

With the CHICKENS!

"STOP CHASING ME YOU CHICKENS! AND GIVE ME BACK MY FOREHEAD PROTECTOR!"

"NO, WITHOUT THIS YOU LOOK MORE LIKE US!"

"I AM NOT A CHICKEN DAMNIT!"

"YES YOU ARE, YOU ARE OUR LEADER! WITH YOUR POWER, WE CAN GET RID OF THE WEASELS!"

"HEY HYUUGA, HELP ME!" Sasuke yelled, waving frantically at Neji who was sitting there calmly.

Neji reluctantly got up, "Shut up Uchiha…"

The chickens stopped and glared at Neji, "HEY, YOU HAVE INSULTED OUR LEADER, YOU SHALL PAY!"

Neji's eye twitched, and soon, he was running around with Sasuke.

"HOW THE HELL DO WE GET RID OF THEM?"

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WANT MY FOREHEAD PROTECTOR BACK!"

"DAMNIT UCHIHA, THIS IS YOUR FAULT FOR HAVING CHICKEN HAIR!"

"HEY, AT LEAST I'M NOT A WHITE EYED FREAK!"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH WHITE EYES? THE BYAKUGAN IS WAY BETTER THAN THE SHARINGAN!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

With the WEASELS!

"Hmm…" Tenten said softly staring at the weasels, then at Itachi.

"Itachi-san…"

"What."

"…You know, you kind of look like a weasel…"

Twitch.

"I.. MEAN…" Tenten felt a killer aura around Itachi, "Eheh.. AHHHHHHHHH, NEJI-KUNNNNNNNNNN!" she screamed and ran off, with Itachi following her.

"NEJI-KUNNNNN!"

"DAMN YOU UCHIHA!"

"DAMN YOU HYUUGA!"

"GET BACK HERE, PANDA GIRL!"

"BYAKUGAN KICKS SHARINGAN'S ASS!"

"SHARINGAN KICKS BYAKUGAN'S ASS!"

"HYUUGA KICKS UCHIHA'S ASS!"

"UCHIHA IS WAY BETTER THAN HYUUGA!"

"NEJI-KUNNNNNN!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE WEAPON FREAK!"

Tenten stopped.

Sasuke and Neji stopped, and stared at Tenten, backing away slowly.

Itachi smirked.

Even the chickens and weasels backed away when they felt Tenten's killer aura.

Itachi ignored it. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad choice…

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME, SHARINGAN FREAK?"

"HEY, DON'T CALL HIM A SHARINGAN FREAK!"

"WHY SHOULD I?"

"HE'S STILL AN UCHIHA, EVEN IF HE'S STILL MY SHITTY BROTHER!"

"FOOLISH LITTLE BROTHER!"

"HEY, THAT WEASEL FREAK IS INSULTING OUR CHICKEN MASTER!"

Pause.

All eyes on Sasuke, "Chicken…master?"

"OUR WEASEL LEADER WILL DESTROY YOUR CHICKEN LEADER!"

"WEASELS RULE!"

"CHICKENS RULE!"

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" Tenten screamed and pinned Itachi and Sasuke to the nearby building with her weapons.

She turned to Neji and smiled sweetly, "Oh Neji-kun…"

"…" His left eye twitched and backed away with the chickens.

She giggled happily and grabbed his arm, "Let's get away from these chickens and weasels, 'kay?"

After Tenten and Neji left…

"Well. That girl is quite strong. She's quite a match to our chicken leader."

"I have to agree with you."

The chickens and weasels looked at each other, "Truce."

They turned to the Uchihas. "Which one of you will be our leader?"

"Me," Itachi and Sasuke both said at the same time.

They glared at each other.

Neji and Tenten watched from above.

Tenten giggled, "The war of chicken and weasels… right after the attack of the penguins…"

Neji smirked, "Nothing is ever normal in Konoha…"

"I'M THE LEADER!"

"NO, I AM!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

Who became the leader? Well, the chicken and weasels got tired of watching the Uchihas fight, and made Neji and Tenten the queen and king.

Tenten woke up with a start and groaned.

"What's up with all these weird dreams? First penguins… now weasels and chickens…"

She stared out the window, and her eye twitched.

"Oh god…"