Difference

Chapter 8
Lost

Tears.

They don't stop. They never stop.

Tears.

Tears for what?

I have no idea anymore.

Tears because I am sick of it.

Tears because I hate her.

Tears because I can't kill her.

I can't do it.

To sink to such a low level, am I really that much of a horrible person?

I don't care any more.

That girl.

That night, I cried because I couldn't kill that girl.

I could regret it now.

I could regret it later.

I keep throwing my regrets endlessly.

"Why don't you kill me?" She mocks as I drop the knife, the loud clattering of it hitting against the floor grating against my ears.

It feels as if my arms no longer had the bones, and my support was now crushed as I buried myself into her clothing.

"I can't do it, I can't do it." I cried.

Over.

And over.

I am foolish.

There's a reason why we're different.

She remains silent as I can not stop the endless sobs escaping these lips.

I'm only a shadow.

And she is the person.

I am just a reflection.

No one would care any more.

No one can understand it anymore.

And then I felt pain.

An incredibly painful feeling spreading through out my body.

The smell of tears, the smell of despair, the smell of hatred, the smell of blood.

It filled this room.

"I am the only one." She whispers.

And I now realize what has happened.

She has killed me, before I have killed her.

The knife that I had failed to use, the knife that fell to the floor was now injected into my skin.

It hurts.

It doesn't hurt.

It hurts.

Do you hate me so much?

Why?

Why?

Why do you hate me.

I never did anything to deserve your hatred.

I want to become close to my sister.

Foolish.

It's all stupidity.

Rotting my brain.

Rotting my heart.

I scream out in pain as she plunges it deeper into me.

"I am white and you are black. I am the cat and you are the dog. I am reality, you are the reflection. We are both foolish children. We are very different."

The last words that I could hear.

The last words.

The words that were carved into my brain.

We are different.

I knew that from the very beginning.

I knew it so well.

That girl.

That girl.

If I were to do something, they would compare me to that girl.

It didn't bother me when I was young. I didn't bother me after that. It bothers me now. It bothers me a lot. It was only normal for people to compare siblings, wasn't it?

"He tried to kill her, but she succeeded in killing him."

That's probably what they're thinking.

We're different.

"I need you as much as you need me." I manage to say.

The pain only increases.

Not because the knife is stabbing me,

But because she hated me so much as to kill me.

That's how things were supposed to be, right?

I was supposed to die in the end, right?

She was supposed to live on.

They wouldn't care if I was dead anyways.

No one would.

I'm sick of this.

I'm so sick of all this.

I can end it all now.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate this all.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate her.

I hate this.

I hate myself.

I hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

I hate her.

"I am white and you are black. I am the cat and you are the dog. I am reality, you are the reflection. We are both foolish children. We are very different."

I slip into the void.

But it's not the end yet.