Difference

Chapter 9
Confusion

Monday. Number one.

Tuesday. Number two.

Wednesday. Number three.

Thursday. Number four.

Friday. Number five.

Saturday. Number six.

Sunday. Number seven.

Repeat it over again.

January. Start.

February. Continue.

March. Go on.

April. And on.

May. Carry over.

June. It's the center.

July. Pass it by.

August. Through.

September. Falling.

October. Dark.

November. Almost gone.

December. End it all.

Repeat the cycle.

Time is going slowly. Was time ever moving in the first place? If it did, I'd rather have it move quickly.

I want each moment to pass by in flashes of seconds.

I want each moment and memory to enter and leave no later than a millisecond.

Time stopped.

The clock doesn't tick anymore.

That familiar tick tock tick tock, I can't hear it anymore.

What day is it? What year is it?

Who am I? Where am I?

What am I? What's my purpose?

Why am I still alive?

The hands of fate decided to spin one more time.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Why?

Why?

Why!

It would have been better without me.

Why.

Why.

Why.

Why.

Why am I still alive?

I could have ended it there. Right there.

Why?

What am I talking about? What am I thinking about? Memories?

Memories…? What are my memories….?

I open my eyes. My eyelids are heavy and I want to close my eyes again.

I must know.

White.

Everything is white.

The sterile white walls and ceiling of an unfamiliar place greet me.

Where am I? How did I get here?

The question echoes endlessly in my brain.

"We are different."

The phrase overpowers my thoughts.

Whose voice is that?

It hurts.

It hurts a lot.

Why am I alive? I mouth the words.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

I'm in a hospital.

But no one is here.

It's just me and the white walls.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Somehow, the sound of that word, I like it.

My whole body feels sore, as if someone had stabbed me a million times with a knife.

It hurts to move.

Struggling, I reach out to the ceiling.

Tick.

Huh?

Tock.

My head hurts.

I see a girl.

She's very pretty. Who is she?

I'm looking down at her. What am I doing?

Tick.

Huh?

Tock.

Blood. I see blood.

Tick.

. . .

Tock.

She smiles menacingly.

What's…happening?

"We are different. That is why, I must live and you must die."

Who is she?

Who…

I'm alive…

Aren't I?

What…is happening?

Kill her.

Kill her.

Kill her.

Hate.

Hate.

Kill.

Destroy.

Envy.

Kill.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

"I'm sorry."

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Do I….hate her?

I'm confused. Confused. What happened? What was I doing? What was she doing?

Who is she?