Difference

Chapter 5
Destroy

I had a lot of friends.

I have a lot of friends.

They are my friends.

That aren't my friends.

I have no friends. I don't need friends.

I don't need them. They need me. They all need me. Without me, they would be nothing. Isn't that right?

They don't care about me, and neither do I. I've forgotten who they are and who they used to be. They've forgotten who I was and who I am…and who I used to be.

These 'friends'…I took them away from him.

That's the way it should be. Everything should be like this…shouldn't it?

He made friends with a girl. She was sweet and nice. She was too perfect. I didn't like her. She was a good girl….a good good girl. I wonder if she's still such a 'good' girl. Her name was Miku. They were close. They were really close. They were too close.

She met me. She thinks she's close to me. She believes she holds the position of my best friend. She's foolish. She's really foolish. She wants to do everything with me. Do you still like that boy you used to be so close to? You're crushing him by staying with me.

Foolish.

He made friends with a boy. An older boy. He was mature but he was nice. He's suspicious. He's not a good person. He was twisted. I hated him. I took him away. He met me. He liked me. He's obsessed with me. He's addicted to me. He forgot about that boy. Do you not realize, I helped you? It doesn't matter anyways.

She was older. Her name was Meiko. She was alcoholic. She was annoying. She was rude. I don't like her. I met her. I told her bad things about that boy. I told her lies. Lies about bad things he did. He never did bad things. She hates him now. She despises him. That's the way it should be.

Two people, they seemed to love each other a lot. They loved each other so much, they'd do anything for each other. It made me sick. Whenever I saw them, I felt liked I would vomit. Disgusting. You are utterly disgusting.

This is the way it should be. You two weren't meant to be anyways.

She wants to be like me. That weird Gumi girl. He used to like her a lot. She doesn't even know who he is anymore.

Good.

A group of friends. Friends, you say? Foolishness. They were an eyesore. I dealt with them.

There's a boy. He's weird. He's really weird. He's weird. I don't like him. He's weird. He keeps bringing up that boy. That stupid boy. I hate him. I wish he would disappear!

There are a lot of others. They don't matter. None of them matter!

None of them at all!

Why can't everyone just disappear? The world would be a better place without these people.

Without lies.

Without the pain.

Without the suffering.

Without the love.

Without the hate!

Why does the world have to be so different all the time?

Different.

Different.

Every day is different.

Never the same.

Or is it?

No…it's all the same.

The same.

Every day.

Exactly…exactly the same.

It should be that way, right?

I'm confused.

I don't like this.

Why is everything so hard? It should be easy.

It should be easy!

I want to cry. I want to feel sorry for people. I want to tell someone something good. I want to laugh. I want to be happy.

Why can't I be happy?

Why can't I say the truth?

Why is it that only lies, hurtful and twisted lies, comes out from this mouth?

WHY?

It should be easy for me.

I'm better.

I'm better than them.

He should be the one suffering.

He should be the one suffering!

I had a friend.

A real friend.

I met him when I was born.

His name was Len.

I liked Len. I liked him a lot. I thought I loved him. He was my brother…he was my best friend after all.

We were close.

We were close..

We grew up.

I killed him.

I killed him.

I killed him.

I killed him.

I want to kill him.

He was my friend.

He's not my friend.

I hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Destroy.

Kill.

I have to destroy him.