Difference

Chapter 11
Insanity

Spiraling.

Spinning.

It's all out of control.

One by one, one by one.

Sanity. Insanity.

What's real? What's fake?

I know her. I don't know her.

This happened. It didn't happen.

What happened?

I'm confused.

Confused.

So Confused.

Help me.

Save me.

I'm drowning.

Drowning…in an endless sea of words.

Thick. It's too thick. I can't breathe.

Help me!

I don't want to die.

I don't-

Kill.

The word echoes through my mind and bleeds through everything.

Stop.

Stop.

STOP!

I don't want to hate. I don't want to kill.

Why…

Why is it like this?

"He won't recover any time soon."

"He doesn't have much time left."

"Useless."

Useless?

What's going on?

Are…they talking about me?

Opening my eyes to be greeted by the blinding white light.

I'm still alone.

All alone.

"This is what you wanted didn't you? To be alone? To have people worry over you? To exist?" The voice is familiar and rings in my ears.

Over.

And.

Over.

I hate this voice.

This voice is filled with hate.

I turn to see a girl.

The same girl.

Destroy.

Kill.

Hate.

Envy.

My head hurts.

"Do you remember your place?" She remains indifferent.

That cold stare.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

I open my mouth to speak.

My throat is dry.

I can't find words.

Shut it.

Don't talk.

It won't do anything.

"I am the cat. You are a nothing but a pathetic stray dog. I am white. You are black, a disgusting eyesore.

You are a child. A child who can't move on and can't do anything for yourself. We are different."

The words ring in my ears

Over.

And over.

Stop.

STOP!

Spiraling.

Spinning.

It's all out of control.

One by one, one by one.

Sanity. Insanity.

Insanity.

It's driving me insane.

IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE.

Blood.

What have I done?

Stop this.

STOP THIS!

"If you continue this way you'll break like a useless toy. You're already bleeding." She whispers.

Stop.

Please.

Please.

Ah.

That's right.

You.

"Do you hate me that much Rin?" It comes out as a scratchy and high pitched scream.

She hesitates.

"Yes. I hate you this much. This much that I kept you alive so you could suffer. We're different after all."

I want to kill her.

But.

I can't.

"It hurts." I answer.

It hurts so much.

I love you so much.

I hate you so much.

"Bitter-sweet. Who is the bitter side? Who is the sweet?"

"It's like a riddle."

The door closes and I'm left alone.

Out of breath.

Tears.

I don't hate you.

I don't love you.