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Chapter 14

Journal,

Well well well. I came home to retrieve my missing homework that I left on my desk this morning and what do I find but Rin reading you? I was sure she wouldn't find you, but I should have known better when she found my...special stash of manga before. So you told your secrets to her, did you, Journal?

Don't worry, I'm not angry with you. It's not your fault your so readable. But I can't believe Rin would violate my privacy like that.

But she knows now.

What I did.

To Kaito,

and Miku,

and Kaito's family.

She was on the last page when I found her. My bedroom door wide open, my things thrown about the place, and Rin reading my journal with her back towards me. When I saw that, my heart dropped into my stomach. I was so afraid because now she knows the truth.

But it's going to be ok.

I got you back, didn't I?

And Rin is taken care of.

DON'T WORRY! I didn't hurt her. At all. Just tied her up and sat her on the couch.

I don't have the heart to kill her. Even after all this I'm not going to be like one of those yandere's on the television that eventually go crazy enough to kill the person they love to make them theirs forever. I simply can't harm Rin with these hands. I can't. I love her, don't I? That's why I killed Kaito after his little act. And then to protect her from that I killed Miku when she knew. And then Kaito's family because they knew. I can't hurt her. I don't want to hurt her. At all. If I hear her scream again like she did when she noticed me behind her, I think my heart with literally break. Everyone can scream and I'll like it, except her. I don't want her to fear me. I want her to love me. I want her to praise me for how I've protected her.

But she doesn't see my work as praise worthy does she? No. She yelled at me. Asked me how I could do something like I did. Truly I don't know how I could. I'm the one who's always been taken as the gentle, quiet type. But it's like they say I guess, the quiet ones are the ones who snap like a twig. But I'm not broken completely in half. I guess I'm a stronger twig.

But now Rin knows about my feelings toward her doesn't she? Yeah. I wrote all those feelings on your first page, and she was on the last when I found her. How does she feel about that? If I ask her, will she tell me? Or just yell at me again?

The house is so quiet. I don't even hear Rin struggling with the bungee cords anymore...I couldn't find anything but those in the shed. All the ropes are old and would break easily. I can't have Rin getting away from me. But I can't kill her either. What to do. What to do.

I think...I need to run away. Far away. Maybe I could calm Rin down enough and she would want to go with me.

That's a unreachable dream, isn't it?

It isn't fair. Why'd it have to end this way? Though...it's not entirely over is it?

It's gotta come down to one.

It's either gonna be me, or Rin.

Wait. No. I can run off by myself. I don't need Rin with me, though it would be nice. I'll miss her everyday of my life, but the way she is right now, I think she'll tell on me if I stay. The police, or Mom and Dad. Even telling some random stranger is dangerous. Either way this turns out, I'm stuck without Rin.

Unless God wants to give me a miracle. I'd very much appreciate it...hint..hint.

The sure thing is, journal, that wherever I go, I need to take you with me.

I can't have an

(the sentence is cut off by a large dot of blood)

(The following page is splotched with tears)

1/12

STOLE LEN'S JOURNAL.

GOT OUT OF ROPES AND KNOCKED HIM OUT WITH A FRYING PAN.

CALLED POLICE.

If something happens to me before they get here, tell Len it's not his fault.

Tell him I forgive him.

Tell him I accept his feelings.

Tell him I love him.

But I need to get him some help

-Rin

1/12 8:35am
Dear Diary,

So this is how it turns out? This is how it ends, is it? With me sitting in the back of an ambulance with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and my diary to write in while Len sits in the back of a police car on the other side of the yard? Len...He woke up right after the police locked him the car. Right now my house is filled with police men searching for everything they can to prove the murders of Kaito and Miku...and his brother and parents of course, but they'll have to search the lake for that. I feel so...guilty.

Why?

Len was murdering people. But he was doing it out of love. For me. He loves me. Like I love him.

AGH

Damn my girly emotions.

I feel like I've somehow betrayed him. Calling the police and telling on him..

Listen to me..I sound like a three year old.

...My hands are still shaking. I guess he really scared me when he snuck up on me. I...shouldn't have read his journal. I shouldn't have. Because then we wouldn't be in this predicament. Len's going to go away from me for a while.

Am I ok with that? I was the one who called the police. But did I do that because I was scared? Len didn't hurt me at all when he wrestled the journal from my hands. All he did was pin me down and then tie me up. He didn't even act like he was as crazy as his journal made him look. Actually he looked really upset. Like a child who knows he's done something wrong and wants another to keep it a secret...I..used to babysit and I'd get that look a lot.

But I'm a bad person. I didn't keep the secret. I told. I really did betray him.

And he's watching me write. Right now. He's looking out the window of the police car at me. He looks so...sad. I wonder what he's thinking. Wait. I think he's crying. Actual tears. Yeah he's crying. Damn.

Len nevercries. The last time I saw him cry was when Mom and Dad started to separate us. Oh God...Mom and Dad..They are NOT gonna be happy.

Geez Len...it's like one of those sappy movies..he just put his palm on the glass of the window.

My heart's breaking now.

I made a mistake.

Go back please! No calling the cops! No hitting Len with a frying pan! No No No No!

I've got to be the one to protect him now. I've got to correct my mistake. I've still got his journal with me. I haven't given it to the police. I can burn it so they have no evidence except those things in the backyard.

By how do I go about this...there are two guys guarding the police car. But they would have to leave if some evidence suddenly came up, right? They haven't found the stuff under the tree yet...

-Rin