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Chapter 3

Dear Journal,

Love sucks.

A lot.

Today was terrible. Though it was probably heaven for Rin (though I hate to say it).

Granted, it started off ok.

Wake up, get dressed, eat an amazing breakfast (prepared by Rin herself. It was banana bread). We walked to school together, Rin and I, like always.

Sat through our classes until lunch.

That's when my slightly cloudy mood turned into a complete downpour.

Rin and I always eat together, and we bring our own bentos so we just join our desks together in the classroom. Lunch is my special time with Rin, because that's when she really opens up to me.

She tells me her opinions (wether it be on food, or people), her goals, and I'm able to sit and listen. I love to listen to Rin talk. She always says the most interesting things when she gets going.

But today, an unwanted third party decided to march his unwanted ass over to our spot and asked to sit with us.

You guessed it. Kaito.

Mister perfect himself.

I could feel Rin just radiating her joy. And it hurt.

But instead of just saying "Well sit your fine ass down!" like I know she wanted to, she asked him if he lost a bet. I did not see that comming, so of course I start laughing, but I try to hide it.

I failed.

But Kaito joined us anyway, and hogged up all of Rin's attention. Therefore, I got no talk-time today. At all.

Nothing.

Zippo.

Jack shit.

That cerulean colored ass.

I'm sure at least one of the two caught my glares towards the guy, but I wasn't asked about it.

Why does this have to happen to me?

Why does God hate me so much? Why, I ask?

But while they were talking, I couldn't not look at Rin either. She was smiling most of the time she spoke with him. The smiles that make my heart lurch when it knows they're not for me.

They were for him.

It hurts.

God, it hurts.

So much.

On our way home from school later that day, Rin was all happy and bubbly and my foul mood couldn't touch her.

Though she did ask me a few times if I was alright.

I told her I was completely fine. Don't you worry. All is well. I just broke three mechanical pencils in my frustration after lunch, and now here I am sulking in my own doom cloud.

To make things worse, Kaito asked if he could sit with us tomorrow. I felt everything in my body sink when Rin happily agreed to the proposal.

Damnit.

Just...Damnit.

- Len