Incompitable

Chapter 17

"G'night, everyone! Rei and I are gonna' sleep~!" Rui called out as she and Rei headed for the living room entrance. The remaining people who hadn't gone to bed after the party; Miku, Dell, Luka, Rin, Len, and Akaito, all said their 'good night's' except for me. I just sat on the black leather couch, my face in between my palms, staring at the carpet.

"Yeah, Dell-kun and I should go to bed, too." Miku agreed, and then turned to Dell. "Right, Dell-kun?" he nodded and they left, heading off to his bedroom.

Now that left the five of us; Luka, who was quietly chatting with Akaito, and Rin and Len, who were still snacking and talking in between bites. I picked up the plate on my left, and poked at the cake with my fork.

Love hasn't necessarily crossed my mind before; I've only had those typical crushes. But after all the thinking this week, I've realized that there must be someone—someone, anyone, which I must love. …And then it came to me. I don't know how, but somehow, I felt it—inside.

"Well, you for go to bed soon, okay?" Luka yawned, waving to us. "It's late; almost 11. I'll be going now."

"Bye, Luka!" Rin and Len said, and Akaito waved goodbye. I looked at her, smiled, and then nodded. Slowly the room became more quiet and awkward, as now there were only four people left.

"Hey, Mikuo-kun."

Startled, I looked up and saw a certain red-head, and smiled nervously.

"Oh, hi, Akaito-kun…" I answered, and he plopped down on my right.

"So, Rin-chan and Len-kun are a couple now, huh?" Akaito said, both of us staring at the twins and listened for a moment.

"Len…" Rin rubbed her eyes, and began to yawn.

"Hm?" Len replied, placing his empty plate on the table.

"I'm tired…" she stretched, yawning again.

"Ah, really? Okay, c'mon, let's go." Len put his arm around her and turned towards us.

"Ne…We're going to go now, 'kay guys?" Len told us, and we nodded. The pair left the room slowly, so now the room was nearly empty. Food, party poppers, balloons, confetti, and other party supplies scattered the room. I looked back at Akaito, but only to find him staring intently at me. I jumped in surprise, and awkwardly looked down, my face feeling hot and my skin tingling with sweat.

"Uh, uh, right, yeah. They are a couple now, aren't they?" I replied back, after a very long time, and Akaito sighed.

"It's a shame; I wanted to tease Rin-chan a bit more."

I clenched my fists slowly, still looking down.

"But now that she's with Len-kun…"

I bit my lip nervously, and clenched my fists a bit tighter.

"I can't be with her, can I?"

And then, I cried, sounding dramatic, if not desperate; "I wouldn't mind being with you, Akaito-!"

I turned to him, my face burning, my palms sweating, and my heart beating faster than ever. For some reason, I felt nervous; why wasn't I acting how I usually do? This is strange—why am I so nervous? I stared at Akaito, waiting for a response, but after a few moments, he only laughed a bit.

"Mikuo-kun, don't be silly—"

"No," I cut him off, "I'm dead serious." I looked at him straight in the eyes, blushing furiously, but I still gave him my best serious look. Akaito stared at me, surprised, but then, his frown fell into a content smile.

The time it took for him to answer felt like years, but after that, he did something I actually didn't account for. Akaito reached up and cupped my right cheek, causing me to bend closer to him, and our faces becoming dangerously close to each other. I felt extremely self-conscious of the fact that my face was as red as his hair and he could probably feel the heat that radiated off of it. And then, still smiling, Akaito whispered quietly, "Well, in that case…"

Len's POV

Rin and I sat on the edge of her bed quietly, staring out the window, watching the stars. The small lights in the sky sparkled brightly, scattered about. It was almost like they casted enough light on the world to light it up on this dark, moonless night. The stars had perfect visibility, too.

I figured that I should probably tell Rin her fate. I didn't want her to experience it being confused. She told me all about how she heard us when we were upgrading her, and how confused and scared she was. So, I decided to not hide anything from her.

"Rin…?" I said out of the silence, still staring out the window at the starry night sky. Rin turned to me and smiled.

"Yeah, Len?"

"…I don't exactly want to bring this up, but…" my voice trailed off, and she still looked at me, but questioningly.

"Yes…?"

"Well…in a…actually, I don't know how long, but…sometime soon, you'll…"

"Yes, Len?"

"You'll…you'll…" I couldn't even make myself say the next word; it hurt so much to even think about it.

"Just say it, Len!" Rin urged, tugging on my arm, and I put my hands to my face, hunched over.

"You'll…you'll die, Rin. You'll…die." I whispered my voice barely audible. My throat closed up, and now it was harder to breathe, and I felt tears coming to my eyes. Inside, I felt like I was about to explode, my heart was on the verge of bursting, and I just wanted to cry. It was like my heart was being torn apart…r something. I felt horrible inside. I didn't know what Rin's expression was, but after a very long moment, she finally said something.

"…I'll…die?" she repeated, and dropped her head, pausing. "Len, Sonika…she told me that I loved you; that's why the upgrade went wrong…"

I looked up at Rin, my eyes slightly wet, and she continued.

"Len, what is love?" She turned to the sky and I stared at her, speechless. "You…you always say you love me, but… what does that mean?" she looked down, and a pained expression crossed her face. "I…don't get it."

I thought for a moment about what to say. Love… What is love? That's a good question.

"Well…" I started, and glanced back up at the stars. "Love…what I think it is…is that you care a lot for a person, and you'd be by their side no matter what. You want to protect this person, and make sure that they're safe." I took a breath and continued. "You make them happy, and they make you happy. You can't really go a day without them; therefore…you want to be with them all the time. Everyday, every hour, every second…" The words flew out of my mouth, reflecting the way that I felt about Rin. She looked at me, and then at her legs that hung off the side of the bed.

"So Rin…" I took her hands into mine; she turned to me, and our fingers intertwined, "If you die…" I took a big breath, calming my emotions, and squeezed her hand tighter. "…then I'll die too."

Rin stared at me, astounded, while at the same time, confused.

"Len…no. Don't…die because of me. Please, that's the last thing I'd want you to do…" Rin said, her voice cracking a bit. This made my stomach drop; I felt ashamed that I would actually say that. Of course she wouldn't want me to die too…

Rin sighed and then shook her head. "So I love you; I had no idea." She looked down and went on. "I…I always felt something inside of me…I didn't know what it was. I wanted to see you so bad during and after the upgrade… You make me happy…and I…" Tears started to form around the brim of her eyes. "I don't want to leave you…leave you alone, because you love me, right…? And…seeing you happy made me happy and…now that I know I love you…" A small tear began to fall from her left eye, and then both of her eyes widened. "…I'm…going…to…" More tears spilled out, and she reached up and traced her fingers down her cheek. "…die…?"

I stared at Rin, confused for a moment, but then I remembered something: Rin doesn't understand crying; this is her first time.

"What…why…?" Rin said, the tears flowing out of her eyes, and then she covered her face, her entire body shaking. "Why is this…" she mumbled, sounding scared, confused. She stopped talking, and now she began to take big breaths and sobs with every tear she let out.

Slowly, I reached over and pulled Rin into my arms. She still covered her face, but leaned against my chest.

"Len…my heart…it hurts…" she whispered, but then she began to sob again. I sighed and hugged her closer to me; so much that we shared the same warmth, almost. She shook in my arms, like she was freezing cold.

"Rin, that's because you're sad… It's an emotion, like being happy. Only that…being sad is the opposite of being happy." I told her, and then she began to cry harder.

"Len…! I don't want to die; I want to be with you! Why do I have to die? How come it has to be like this? This isn't fair to me…not fair to you; why...why…but I love you, and…I…" she wailed, and I just held her, trying to hold back the tears that wanted to come out. I felt the small impact of the tears coming out of her eyes on my neck, and they didn't stop falling.

"…don't want to die…I love…Len…" she whimpered, making sounds like she was hiccupping. I didn't reply, but I just held her quietly, as her sobs filled the starlit bedroom.