I Still Do

Neji breathed in deeply as he faced upwards, the rain pouring down onto his face from the stormy grey clouds above. He felt hollow somehow, though he was quite sure that his internal organs were still there. Except perhaps the most important beating one. His heart. It felt like it wasn't there anymore, like all the feelings he had held had been emptied out. Feelings of worry, feelings of anger…of love.

Only one feeling remained there.

Sadness…

"Neji! Neji!"

He heard his name being called through the pelting rain, though he made no move to head towards it. The voice that his life had revolved around. It was like sweet honey, in a way. It made all his problems seem like trivial things that he shouldn't bother with, that he shouldn't worry. He could hear it in his mind all day long and never tire of it. This was what love was like. But did love make you blind to everything around you? Yes. And that was the problem.

"Neji! Neji, why did you run?"

Tenten was breathing hard, staring at Neji in concern. This wasn't like him, why did he suddenly leave her there? Something was wrong, and he wasn't telling her. Her eyes darted around his face in worry, wondering if he was hurt or having some sort of mental breakdown. But Neji was strong; he wouldn't be having breakdowns, would he?

"Tenten," Neji said softly, gazing at her softly. She was completely drenched; her hair sticking to the sides of her pale face as she stood there in the rain. His eyes locked on hers, and for a moment, time did seem to stop. They looked at each other, trying to find out what the other was trying to say.

"Neji…why did you…run?" Tenten asked slowly. She wanted to know whether it was something she had done. Was he angry at her?

"Tenten, I…it's nothing that…that you've done…" Neji avoided looking into her brown eyes as he said this, he didn't want her to feel responsible. It wasn't her…it wasn't even him…it was…

"Neji! Just tell me why you ran?" Tenten cried in frustration, almost sobbing. He looked so sad in the rain, his silky black locks of hair hanging by the sides of his fair face. She was always influenced by the feelings of others around her, and this time it was Neji's. The Neji who she loved.

"I…I'm sorry, Tenten. I think…I think I've had enough."

"Enough? Enough of what?"

"…enough of you."

Tenten felt as if the world had just turned upside down as she stared mutely at the Hyuuga, her heart beating so hard that it hurt. Her legs felt as if it could no longer hold her up, like there were no bones in them anymore. She couldn't believe it…had Neji just…

"You don't love me anymore, do you?" she asked quietly, her sight blurring. It wasn't the rain.

Neji didn't answer as his fist tightened, knowing that if even if he did tell the truth...she would not believe him anymore.

"I'm sorry," was all he said softly. A sob escaped Tenten's self-restraint, and it was as if that was a trigger. She sank to the ground, her head falling into her hands. The trademark buns on the top of her head that she had so carefully put up for him were loose and messy. Her favourite jumper and jeans were dirty.

What had she done to even deserve this? And I was so sure I had been in love, Tenten thought bitterly.

Love can blind all…

"At least tell me why…" she whispered, knowing that he could hear her no matter. She at least needed to find out the reason why God had taken away the most perfect guy on the planet away from her.

"Hiashi does not want me to…to marry someone outside the Hyuuga house. He does not permit it. He will have an arranged marriage for me with the Princess of China next month. He won't allow me to get close with…with you." Neji felt sick about this whole thing, and most of all, at that moment…he felt like he could have killed everybody in the entire world just to be with this girl.

Flashback

"I love her."

"It does not matter whether it is love or mere infatuation, you will not be allowed to see her any longer. This arranged marriage with the Princess of China is very good for the Hyuuga house, and I'm sure they're pleased to have someone marry into the renowned Hyuuga clan. The marriage will be held next month, so I would like you to pre-"

"I don't want to marry this princess, Hiashi. I want to marry the one I love. Marriage is not about the wealth, or the status, but you have to do it for-"

"For love?" Hiashi said darkly. "Love is nothing. Love does not hold a marriage together, but money and power does. Neji, who is this girl you love?"

"…her name is Tenten. And she's the most perfect girl in the world."

"No last name, I can tell. I…I know what you're going through, Neji. I myself thought that love was all that mattered in this universe, until that…that person left it. It will help you cope with it better for you to separate with her earlier than later. You will feel much more pain if you do it later."

"I love Tenten, Hiashi. She is not going to die soon. I love her. Please see that."

"Neji, I will not permit it."

"But I-"

"I will not permit it! Do not see her anymore! We will leave for China in 2 weeks. Get ready."

End

"I'm really sorry, Tenten."

Tenten didn't look up from her hands, as she felt his lips touch her hair. Only when she heard his footsteps did she look up to see him walking away. Perhaps, away from her life. Who knew that love could hurt so much?

Had Tenten been able to kiss Neji one more time, she would have tasted salt.

And they would not have been her own.