Re Birthday

Chapter 9

Even though Miku knew who I was I retrieved my cloak from its hidden place, solemnly I pulled it over my head. My heart was stone. I turned to see Rin clutching the sword in both hands. Without looking her in the eye I obtained the sword, grasping it tightly as I disappeared down into the dungeons for the last time. Each step made my heart heavier and heavier, I desperately wanted to free her, but what would be the point? Rin would have us both killed, besides she had nothing to return to, her home, her family, her friends, her life were all gone, demolished along with the green kingdom.

I trudged down the pitch black hall leading me to her, and for the first time since meeting her, I disliked seeing her. I wondered if she was still angry with me, it certainly would make things easier, however to my dismay she smiled joyfully up at me as I entered, a sharpened dagger concealed beneath my cloak. This somewhat cracked the armour I had built up for myself, letting me feel for her once more. She stood, alarming me as she moved toward me, I was careful not to cut her as she ran to embrace me. A faint blush on her cheeks she looked at my grim expression and her cheery smile faded though she didn't let go of me.

"What's wrong?" She asked nervously, laughing a little to relieve the tension. I couldn't do it, just go in there and murder her without any explanation. I slipped my hand into hers and led her to a small stool; she sat as I motioned for her to do, clearly concerned by my lack of warmth towards her. I sighed, feeling myself breaking as I began to speak.

"I've been given terrible orders...to...to kill you" My voice broke on the word kill, making it all seem so pointless. Killing her wouldn't help a thing and I knew this myself, however Rin didn't. Suddenly Miku's expression fell, her eyes lost their hope, she stared down into her lap, clasping her hands together to stop herself from shaking. I knelt down in front of her to stare into her deep green eyes. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, yet she smiled at me all the same. It tore me apart to see her in such misery. Her life had been her only hope, and now I was to rob her of that as well. What hadn't I taken from her? I held her trembling hands, even as she inwardly lost all hope she still smiled reassuringly at me.

"I see" She spoke softly; she sounded calm despite her fate. She gazed into my eyes searching for something, I was blushing, my pulse quickened. I felt as if she could see right into my soul, but what more could she learn about me that I'd kept secret? She already knew I was an assassin, and now she knew my feelings for her. I wanted to turn away, her gaze was distressing me, I didn't want to love her anymore, it would just make the pain worse. Yet despite this I didn't turn away, I didn't want to stop staring into her green eyes, emotive green eyes. I suddenly noticed how close we were. I wanted to kiss her, but I feared it would only distress her more, for why would she care for me? A pathetic servant, a murderer, a child in comparison to Kaito. Without breaking our gaze she spoke.

"So how will I die?" She asked casually as if it were an everyday question. I swiftly removed the dagger from my cloak, and held it between our two faces, not wanting her to hinder this moment between us. Her eyes ran up and down the sharp edge of the blade, and I saw her flinch a little. She flew into my arms once more, she was crying hopelessly, she had finally realised the reality of the dire situation. Guilt consumed me as I cradled her fragile body, holding her to my chest. I was rock, I wouldn't cry, not now when she needed me. So I let her sob, and wail until her shaking body was exhausted, she laid her head on my shoulder sniffing weakly. The hair on the back of my neck stood as I felt her gently breathe against the side of my neck. Her frail little body felt limp against mine. I stroked her hair gently, intertwining it between my fingers. The thought that this would be the last time I stroked her hair, felt her breath against my neck, saw her breathing was overwhelming, I thought I would cry, however she sat up before me and stared into my eyes again.

"If I'm going to die then...I need you to know I...I love you too" Tears slipped down her pale cheeks as she smiled affectionately at me. I stared at her in disbelief, I must be dreaming I though to myself. I stared at her in awe as she planted a kiss upon my hand.

"B...but why? I'm not a prince" It sounded childish even to me, and she laughed a little through her tears, wiping a tear from my own face, a tear I hadn't even felt escaping. She kept her hand on my cheek staring sincerely at me. "Because you're kind, and gentle...I don't really know for certain, I just know that the first time I saw you was the first time I smiled from my heart" She said passionately, caressing my cheek as Rin had earlier, but it felt different than the way Rin had done it. I knew I was crying even though I'd promised myself I wouldn't, how could I kill the only girl who had truly loved me. Yet she still smiled at, she opened her arms to me and a determined look adorned her face.

"Okay, I'm ready now I can die without regret now" I knew she was only putting on a brave face for my sake; this only made me cry more. She shut her eyes in anticipation, awaiting her death. However I wasn't ready to let her go yet, just a few more moments with her, that's all I wanted. I gulped, my pulse racing again as I moved close to her, she opened one of her eyes slightly to see what I was doing, not even I was too sure at this stage, I was letting my heart do what it wanted. I slipped my arms around her small waist, pulling her body against mine; she was startled, and opened her eyes to witness for herself what I was doing. I blushed as I moved closer to her, my head was screaming at me to desist what I was doing and kill her immediately, however for once I ignored my logic, and nervously moved my face closer to hers. Her face had gone crimson with this close contact, and she watched me anxiously.

"Len?" She whispered, my face was so close to hers that I could feel her warm breath against my lips. I knew I had to do this now or I would be too embarrassed to continue, so I shut my eyes tightly and let my lips brush against hers. Her lips were amazingly soft. Her body was tense against mine as I did this, but after a few moments it relaxed and she kissed me back. My heart was racing; I'd never kissed a girl before. I didn't want to part from her, I didn't want this brilliant feeling to leave me, but I was crying again knowing this was as close as I would ever get to her, and as we parted she smiled gratefully at me. I moved behind her removing the blade and holding it with both hands against her chest. I could hear myself sob as I did this, I just couldn't stab her, and she knew this. Gently she took my hands in hers and helped me to plunge the dagger deep into her chest; a sharp gasp escaped her lips as it collided with her heart. She fell backwards into my arms, she was trembling violently, her intakes of breath became sharp and irregular, I lay her head on my lap as she gasped for air, sobs coming from both of us, I held her hand, gripping it tightly. Feeling the life ebbing away from her with each passing second, my regret growing with each passing second. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take, her cries of pain tore me apart, I screamed but she squeezed my hand as if to console me, and as I stared down at her through blurred eyes, she stared up at me, her face suddenly serene, she mouthed the words 'thank you' before losing her grip on my hand, her eyes darkened, and the smile slipped from her lips. She was dead.