The Reason Neji Hated Ramen

Yes yes, we have all seen Neji eat ramen at Ichiraku's before, haven't we.

But of course, he only sits there with the ramen before him, chopsticks in hand, not in the bowl of ramen.

Of course, there's only one reason for that.

Neji. Hates ramen.

Being the… semi-polite person he is, he of course orders the ramen, but doesn't eat it.

Why does Neji hate ramen so much? Well…. Let's see.

Oh look, Neji's right over there! What great timing, eh?

"Hey Neji, why do you hate ramen?" I asked.

"…Aren't you the authoress?"

"Yeah I am, but answer the question."

"…"

"ANSWER IT DAMNIT!"

"I hate it because I never liked starchy foods. Especially ramen," he said before turning away and leaving.

Well. That would be his answer. But knowing Lee, being the blabbermouth he is…

"Hey Lee, why doesn't Neji like ramen?"

"Ah, the youthful author!"

"I'm not really that youthful."

"THE YOUTHFUL AUTHOR! AND MY YOUTHFUL RIVAL NEJI HATES THE YOUTHFUL RAMEN THAT YOUTHFUL NARUTO-KUN SO YOUTHFULLY LOVES BECAUSE…"

"STOP WITH THE YOUTH!"

"Fine. BUT REMEMBER THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! OH I SEE YOUR YOUTHFUL FIST IS… oh dear. My rival Neji dislikes ramen because he has seen his lover eat it! With another MAN! EXACTLY SIX MONTHS AND FOUR DAYS AGO!"

"…OOOH LALA! NEJI LIKES SOMEONE!"

"LEE!"

"OH NO, NOW I MUST BE ON MY YOUTHFUL WAY! FAREWELL, MY YOUTHFUL AUTHORESS FRIEND!"

Ah. So, Neji LIKES someone, does he?

"HEY NEJI!"

"…"

"WHO DO YOU LIKE?"

"…"

"FINE!"

Later

Hm.

So. We now know that Neji likes someone!

Let's investigate!

"OI SAKURA!"

"HAI?"

"WHERE WERE YOU SIX MONTHS AND FOUR DAYS AGO?"

"UHH…. PRACTICING MY HEALING ABILITIES WITH TSUNADE-SAMA!"

"OKAY! OI HINATA!"

"H-hai?"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"HAI?"

"MUCH BETTER! WHERE WERE YOU SIX MONTHS AND FOUR DAYS AGO?"

"I-I'm afraid I forgot, Silence-san… gomen nasai…"

"It's fine Hinata-chan! Oh! Do you know who Neji likes?"

"Neji-nii-san? Hai."

"Who?"

"…"

"I've asked every girl… unless…." I stared at her with wide eyes.

She looked back with wider eyes, "N-no, Neji-nii-san likes a girl!"

"…Hinata-sama…"

"…I need to run and stay alive, ja ne!"

I turned around as Neji sped by, apparently about to torture Hinata.

Poor Hinata.

Okay. He's not gay. Thankfully.

Not Sakura. Or Hinata.

"INO!"

The blonde turned around, "Huh?"

"Where were YOU six months and four days ago?"

"How the hell should I remember?"

"Okay, thanks!"

"TENTEN!"

Tenten appeared out of nowhere, polishing a kunai, "Yes?"

"Where were you six months and four days ago?"

"Oh, I was at Ichiraku's with Sasuke-san!"

"Okay tha… WAIT!"

She blinked innocently, "Hm?"

"Don't you 'hm' me! You like Sasuke, don't you!"

"…Noooo…"

"Then why were you with him at Ichiraku's? Eating?"

She blinked, "Discussing… business with Sasuke-san."

"….. YOU NAUGHTY LITTLE GIRL!"

"WHAT THE HELL? YOU HAV EA SICK MIND! I WAS DISCUSSING FEELINGS WITH HIM!"

"SO YOU DO LIKE HIM!"

"NO, I WAS DISCUSSING WITH HIM MY FEELINGS FOR NEJI!"

Awkward silence.

"OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"

Tenten blushed furiously, "DON'T YOU DARE TELL HIM!"

"WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO IF I DO?"

She glared menacingly and held the polished kunai under my throat, "That."

I gulped, "G-got it."

After I tracked down Neji…

"OI NEJI!"

"…"

"I FOUND OUT WHO YOU LIKE! IT'S TEN—"

"SHUT UP!"

I blinked, "I guessed right?"

"You guessed?"

"Yep."

"Shit."

"Oooh, Neji swore!"

Byakugan.

"…I mean."

Byakugan deactivated.

"So. You hate ramen because you saw Tenten eat ramen with Sasuke."

"…"

"Well! You'll be happy to know Tenten likes you and was eating ramen with Sasuke because she was discussing her feelings for you with him!"

"Why Uchiha?"

"How should I know. Now, go ask her out while I go back into the real world!"

"Isn't this the real world."

"No, there's a world out there where there are even more fangirls."

"…Crap."

"Well. BYE NEJI!"

Neji blinked before turning around, "Hey Tenten."

"Yeah Neji?"

"...WillyougooutwithmebecauseI'!"

She blinked then grinned, "Of course! I love you too Nejiiii!"

Another happy ending, yay!

And so that is why Neji hates ramen.

What? I didn't explain thoroughly? Hmph.

He hates ramen because he saw Tenten eat it with Sasuke when Neji himself had a crush on Tenten.

Got it? Good. This is SerenitySilence, signing off until… I dunno, next time!