Reasons Why I Loved Him

I remember the first time I met him.I was sitting in an alley,my knees tucked under my chin,shivering,I wasn't wearing much,a old brown jacket with a revealing top and a short skirt,on my feet were a pair of old scuffed trainers that I had been wearing for years. He came up to me and put his hand out to me,"come with me"were the first words he said to me,the only thing I was able to do was follow him,he took me back to his apartment,it was quite small but it did have a separate room that he slept in,he told me to sit down.i did and he fed me,i took this as a signal he wanted me for my body,so I started to undress. "no I don't want you for that"he shouted at me while blushing "then what do you want me for"I shouted back with tears in my eyes "I want to help you,that's all I want"he calmly answered "why do you want to help me,you don't know me, all I am is some street kid on the wrong side of life"I started to punch at him and he stopped me and held me close.I cried,I hadn't cried like that since my parents died. he told me his name and I told him mine,I remember how sweet his name sounded the first time I heard it,his name was Len and I didn't know how important he would become to me over the next few months

home life with Len was wonderful,he helped me get clean from the drugs and showed me how to act for day to day life,it was taught me how to cook so that he didn't have to worry about food when he got home from work,I enjoyed it immensely and he told me the food tasted better when I cooked it,I smiled with him started to tell me things about his life,he said that i reminded him of his twin sister who died tragically 14 years ago,I realized it happened just before I was born,he refused to tell me his sisters name and I didn't want to pry.

I didn't know when it turned into love,it just happened,I started to blush when he talked to me and not know how to answer.I could also see a difference in him,he became more distant as if he was thinking something day out of the blue,he came home and said he had a bad day,I looked up at him,smiled and told him everything will be was with those words he kissed me,I didn't know what to do so I kissed him back,he picked me up and took me to his room and made love to me that night,it felt different,not like it felt when I had to sell my body for some money,he wasn't using my body and then throwing me away like a piece of tissue.I knew he loved me and I loved him when it was over he held me close,he said he loved me and that he would never let me go or hurt me,I was really happy at that moment I thought it would never end,how wrong i was.

one day Len started feeling ill,he was off for a week but when he didn't get any better,he went to the doctors,they sent him for more tests,the results were horrible,the doctors told him he had a month left to live.I cried my eyes out and held him close, he didn't say a word,just stood there silent with sorrow in his sickness took him quickly,soon he couldn't leave his bed,I escaped with drugs ,I started getting worse again.I started coming home high,he knew I was going back down the path he stopped me from going down a couple months ago but he couldn't stop me since he barely could get out of bed,he just looked at me and cried,I cried too but I couldn't quit the drugs.

A month later and he could barely talk,I started using in front of him so I didn't have to leave him last night together he got worse ,his breath was laboured and he told me that he thought he wouldn't last the night.I kneeled down next to him and held his hands and cried."I will tell you my sisters name now,her name was Rin and i loved her"I realized then that he picked me up cuz I looked,acted and had the same name as her."though you are like my sister,i never loved her the way i love you now,you are my everything and you will always be my true love"even in my drug addled daze I cried and said I loved him too but before I could finish my sentence he night apart of me died,from that moment on I the quit the drugs,I shouldnt have been taking them anyway since I knew it was hurting the life inside of me,my last part of my savior and my one true love,my beautiful Len.

after the small funeral I found out he had left everything to me,I also got given a note saying that even though he wasn't with me in body,he was with me in soul and with the baby wrote the note 2 weeks before he died.I hadnt even told him I was pregnant,I guessed he must've seen the test in the trash. I looked after myself well after that and carried on in the way Len would have wanted me too. as with everything in this world,death ended with birth,he was a lovely baby and looked just like his father,i loved him and would give him everything his father could from then on was simple I lived for my son and my son lived for me.I had come along way from when he first found me but i thankgod every day he did find me and saved me.