Romeo and Cinderella

Chapter 11
The Voices Tell Me Not to Trust You

I stayed frozen under Len's hand, searching for a decision of what to do next. I could think of no easy escape; I just ran. I don't know if I could have run into any more people than I did, but I at least managed a decent speed. I wasn't really sure where I was going. It definitely wasn't home. That was for certain.

I ended up going north and before long I had practically sprinted directly into the side of the Church. I thought I was safe there, so I rested. After all, the Church was a good ways away from the Marketplace and I had just gotten there in three minutes flat. And that was just a little bit tiring, especially in heavy winter clothes.

I let out a huge breath of air I didn't realize I had been holding. My tired legs had me slouch to the ground, my back against the Church wall. I started humming a calming tune to myself. It didn't have any words that I knew, but it used to. I had heard them a long time ago—maybe in a dream somewhere. The song just comforted me when I felt scared or stressed or, in this case, a bit of both.

I hummed, "Mm mm mmmm, mm mm mmmm. Mm mm mmmm, mm mm mmmm…" I started hearing a harmony coming in from behind me. At first I didn't think any of it until I realized there was a wall there and there was nobody around me. I stopped. Maybe I was crazy. Was there a test for crazy? And if I actually were crazy, what would they do to me?

"Why did you stop?" asked a little voice. Actually, it wasn't a little voice, it was the little voice.

"Wh-who are you?" I called out, starting to stand. Unreasonably. I knew exactly who he was.

"You have a beautiful voice. Please don't stop humming," It said.

"Where are you?" I turned my head wildly. Not a soul to be seen.

"I'm right behind you." I spun around. Nothing. "Still there." I turned again. "I'll always be right behind you."

I squeezed my eyes shut and clasped my hands over my ears. "Don't talk to me. Leave me alone."

"Why?" I could feel his breath on my neck. Was I sick? Was I sleeping? "I thought you enjoyed my company." There were hands on my shoulders. I felt the ground sway out from beneath me.

But it was not the ground I came into contact with. It was two hands (if it were more I would be worried)—two hands that lifted me up and took me to a face that asked me, "Rin? Are you okay?"

It was just the face I had been running from, the one that contained a terrifying side that I would always dread. Except… it didn't. This was not the darkness that I had feared. In fact, I looked for the darkness. I looked at his face, his eyes, his figure; there wasn't a trace of it. There was only concern, and his own cold terror. Had I dreamed it before? Such pain and evil could never be contained by this body that I looked at now. And I was crazy after all. The voices had just established that fact for me.

"Rin?"

I blinked slowly up at Len. "Len?" I asked as if I didn't know who he was.

"Yes. It's me," He confirmed, and with a little smile he said, "It's been a while."

"A week and a half," I affirmed, my voice monotonous.

Len put a puzzled look on his face. "I thought it had certainly been longer than that."

"No." Why was he making me remember such a treacherous night? "Stargazing, remember? You came by the manor. I think you got your shoes back while you were there…" I trailed off as the confusion in his face only seemed to worsen.

"Rin, I never came to get my shoes." Len looked honestly concerned for my health.

"Oh. Is that so? I must have dreamed it." No way. There was no way. He had been there. I had been there. I left a note. I left the room. I know I left. Luka even talked to me when I woke up. Was I…

"You must have." There was a silence as Len recuperated his thoughts. He furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. There seemed to be something on his mind. Something he came here to tell me about. "Rin there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?" I requested, my curiosity trying to pierce through his thoughts.

"You aren't going to like it," Len stalled.

Now he was starting to have me worried. He didn't need to worry me. I was good enough at that without his help. "Say it."

"Rin, I think… I think I'm your brother." My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. My entire body came to a screeching halt. I couldn't move. "There's someone I think you should talk to."

.

We had discretely made our way to Len's manor though a series of long winding streets and paths. I was sure my maid was going to have my head by the time I came home. I just hoped she had made up some crap that my father would believe so he wouldn't worry too much. Of course, these were not the things that were going through my head at the time. It was more along the lines of, oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God let it not be so oh my God oh my God oh my God, which, trust me, started getting old after hours of walking, but by then it was embedded in my head like a bad, overplayed Christmas carol.

We had entered the manor and made our way down a long hall and to a room with closed doors. No servants questioned us verbally, though their faces asked many questions, questions that I could not answer. Inside this room at the end of the hallway, a few nurses stayed along the walls and one more held her place next to a bed with thick, fluffy blankets. It was a very warm room, smelling of fever and a failed attempt at refreshing perfume. A frail woman rested in the bed and weakly tried sitting up at the sound of visitors. Her blond hair was dull, her blue eyes clouded, but it looked that she would be the splitting image of her son in good health, maybe even more similar to me.

Her hazy eyes widened a little at the sight of me. She tried saying something: "Hhh… Hh…" Her nurse, in turn, handed her a small cup of water. The woman in bed did her best to sip at it with her weak arms. The sight of her struggle made my heart ache so much.

"Mother, this is Rin," Len started.

Len's mother beckoned us closer. I walked forward slowly, wanting to cry just a bit… maybe more than a bit.

We sat on the bed next to her. She gestured for me to come closer so I leaned toward her. She caressed my face, studying me. She then turned to stare at her son. There was something there in her face, something I couldn't quite read. It looked a lot like longing and surprise mixed with sorrow. Yearning. That was the word.

"Mother had two children," Len was talking to me; I turned my head to him, "twins. I was always told that the other died at birth, since I never knew her… I guess I should start at the beginning, shouldn't I…

"My mother and your father met in France. My mother was German but she moved to France as a young girl. They were married, then some time after Louis XIV died they left for Germany, fearing an unstable government after such a great king. When they arrived in Germany, your father and she were happy to find that my mother was pregnant. Two children were born, blessed by the church bells and all was happy.

"It was a bit later when your father came to find the terrible truth. He was not the father of the two children. Shortly after marriage, my mother had had an affair with a man from Spain. In a great rage your 'father' took away one of the children and moved to the West City.

"Your 'father' had tried to have my mother beheaded, but my father had bailed her out before the execution. With what money they could pool together he and she moved into this manor. Your father married another German woman and became very successful while my side of the family struggled in the East City. He raised you, trying to make you prejudiced into believing that all people of the East City were cruel and nasty. Then you met me…"

"Oh my God." I finally managed to say what had been on my mind. It explained so much: the connection between Len and me, the lack of similarity to my "mother" and "father," the lies. It was all lies. My whole life had been a lie.

"Are you okay?" Len inquired, more concern apparent in his voice than there had been before.

I looked at his mother. She gazed back apologetically, looking very tired from the small amount of time she had used her energy. I could tell she wanted to tell me so many things, but she couldn't. She could hardly breathe, much less speak.

"I think I need a moment alone," I said, standing up slowly. I directed myself out of the room and to the front door, feeling awful for leaving my long lost mother. I settled on the doorway, not having the energy to run away again. I had been running a lot lately. Then again, I had never been around so many things to run away from until now. And I could feel them slowly hitting me, one by one, each one hitting harder than the next. I wasn't a little girl anymore; I was getting married…in just a few weeks… to a man I hated. And my true lover was in fact my brother. I had two friends, my maid and Miku who, if she hadn't met me, would have never been raped. I never knew my real father, and my mother was ill and I would never get to know her either. Then, there was my madness. It all started recently, my hallucinations. Perhaps they were caused from this stress. I didn't know.

I didn't know anything anymore…

"Rin…" Len had followed me out a few minutes after my grand exit. I turned my head up to him. It was only then that I realized that I was crying. He crouched down next to me and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "What… what are we going to do?"

"I-I don't know." Len settled next to me and I laid my head down in his lap. He started stroking my hair absentmindedly. "It's all so much to taking in. I'll need some time… some time to think." I didn't want to look at his face. I feared what I might see in there would be sadness or hurt. I didn't dare look at his face.

"I understand," Len affirmed. "Would you like me to take you home?"

"Yes please."

.

"Luka, there's something I need to talk to you about." It was late when I returned home. I had already eaten dinner. The sun was well below the horizon by now. A few candles lit my room with a dim flickering. My maid was sitting with me on my bed. I decided she would be the best person to talk to about my troubles.

Luka appeared to see that I was upset. "What is it?" she asked me.

I came out with the news bluntly yet timidly (is that even possible?). "I think Len is… is my brother." I could feel a pang of shock hit Luka, but her face and body did not change. "I don't know what I should do."

"What do you think you should do?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, slamming my hands into the fluff. "That's why I was asking you! I don't know what I'm doing and—and I'm scared!"

Luka pulled me into a hug as I sobbed into her shoulder. "Shh. Shh. It's okay. It's okay." She stroked my back in a comforting way, not really trying to calm me down but definitely not stressing me more. "I think you need to rest. I can't make your decisions for you, and you can't make your decisions when you're this tired."

"I hate you. You and your logic," I muttered into Luka's dress. It did make sense, but I didn't want it to make sense. I didn't want anything to make sense. Because I didn't make sense so nothing else should have been allowed to.

She gave e a quick squeeze then released her hold on me. "You should sleep now. It's been a long day and it's late." Luka got up and walked across the room, blowing out the candles on her way. "Good night, Rin."

.

"I'm scared." The voice of a little girl echoed out in the blackness. I opened my eyes. She was standing in a pool of silver light. Her blond hair was long, going down to her waist. Her ocean blue eyes glimmered with tears. A white ribbon was loosely tied in her hair. "Scared…"

.

I woke up early that morning. It was in the moment before sunrise where the sky was just beginning to look purple but the stars could still be clearly seen. I arose from my bed and walked to the corner of the room. I had forgotten, after all of the drama of the previous day, to check for something here. Sure enough, Len's shoes were still there.