Seductiveness and Fatness

The dreadful, putrid soup...
Those nauseating, bland noodles...
The dull flavoring...
Diet ramen.

Tenten sighed reluctantly
Neji had been ignoring her lately. And that made her mad when her really, really, attractive forever-crush didn't notice her.
He was put on at least ten missions with Sakura in the past month. And none with Tenten.
Tenten felt like Tsunade was doing this on purpose, to fulfill Sakura's lust for Neji...
And now, she damn hated that Hokage.

Tenten had a VERY false image of herself being too flabby and fat for Neji.
So, she went to diet ramen. That would shed her a couple pounds.
Sakura ate it too, and that seemed to attract the Hyuuga boy.
It couldn't hurt if she lost a just litttttle weight...

And so, she bit into the tasteless ramen, moping.

1 Hour Later

"One more, jiichan," Tenten ordered the Ichiraku man.
He slapped down her 32nd bowl of ramen onto the table.

"We close in fifteen minutes," the owner huffed, "and we're running out of ingredients, too."

Tenten ignored him. She pinched her cheeks. I don't feel any skinnier...
Just then, Neji and Sakura walked into the stall.

"Oh, hello, O Great and Mighty Too-Good-To-Talk-To-Tenten Neji-sama," Tenten muttered, "and his bitch..."

" Tenten." Neji snorted.

"It's nothing, it's nothing," she scowled back.

Tenten puffed her cheeks out. Once again, Neji and Sakura return from, what, their one-millionth mission.

Curse you, fate. Why did that Neji have to be so dang hot?

Tenten could hear Sakura babbling on and on and on and on and on...thanking Neji for stupid reasons. For instance, using the air around him to help her breathe, and using his jacket to catch her fall (it was off of him, FYI, on the ground), and using the thread on his shirt to give her good luck.

I'm sorry, but what the hell?

Tenten felt eyes on her...heavy, hazy, lovely, lavender ones...

Neji, you stalker.

"What is it, Lord Genius." she hissed.

"HAH. I'm FAT, aren't I?"

"...No."

"LIAR!"

"You're NOT fat."

"YES I AM, YES I AM, YES I AM!"

"You're not fat."

"STOP LYING, HYUUGA NEJI!"

"...Hmph."

He flipped his head away to Sakura.

Bad Neji.

"YOU JERK! PLAYER! CHEATER! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME JUST LAST MONTH, AND NOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH SAKURA! I KNOW, I'M FAT! YOU LOOKS-OBSESSED, MATERIALISTIC ASSHOLE!"

And out went Tenten to the night market, fuming.

And out went Neji, deciding NOT to stay home, embarrassed and stomping after Tenten.

And out went Sakura to eat roast beef. (after paying for everyone's food)

And out went the ramen guy back to his apartment, where he had no roast beef.

And the last little piggy, Chouji, went "WEE-WEE-WEE! IF TENTEN'S FAT, THEN WHAT AM I! SNIFF!" all the way home.

At the Night Market

"Neji! Why do you have to make me so FRICKING MAD!" Tenten screamed, getting scared glances from all of the villagers around her.

She blushed, and hid among the crowd until something grabbed her.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, someone's trying to kill me! she panicked, pawing at the air, kicking behind herself rapidly.

The strong, stiff arms of the kidnapper gripped her harder. SAVE ME, LORD!

"Tenten."

Oh. She realized that cold, stoic voice.

"NEJI!"

"...Why do you think you're fat?"

"And I should tell you...why? Maybe Sakura wants you to attend to her needs right now."

"Let me say something. All of these lies about a relationship between me and that Haruno girl are fake."

"Oh, shut up, you stupid-"

He cupped his hand over her lips, slowly bending near her ear. She could feel his hot breath mingling around her face, as a tiny, unwanted blush aroused on her cheeks. She giggled slightly as he became closer.

"Stop it, Neji! Don't try anything on me..." she said through angry muffled tones, a deep flush over her face.

"Hey, Tenten."

"What?"

"You know what's true, though?"

"No."

"I told you that I loved you a month ago...and I still do."

She had to try hard to catch her breath.

"...N-Neji..." Oh crap, I really don't know what to say. she cried mentally.

"Also..."

"...Huh?"

"You're not fat. You're hellishly sexy ."

Her blood pressure zoomed up high, and she was screaming maniacally in her head. Oh my god! NEJI! THINKS! I'M! ...!

He brushed his coarse fingers past her soft mouth, and slightly let his lips touch hers for just a bit.
A gentle, simply attractive smile formed on Tenten's face as she let him pick her up and carry her home.

At her house, he laid her on the couch, and went for the exit.

"Neji...um...I still hate you! But, I think I love you, too." she whispered, grinning mischieviously.

"...Heh. Good night. By the way," he replied, "You're cute when you smile."

He left the house, closing the door softly, and leaving Tenten in that dizzy, seducted state once again.