Shop With Me

"Pretty please?" Tenten begged Neji, fluttering her eyes.

Neji spoke coldly. "No."

"Pleeeaaasee?"

"No."

"Come on, Neji!"

"No."

"SAY YES!"

"No."

It was Team Gai's day off. Tenten had planned to invite Neji to go check out a new mall. He was anything but interested in coming along.

"Neji, you're such a bore..."

"Hn."

"If you don't go, then I'll tell Hinata about that time you tried on her makeup. And Lee, when you stole his boxers to-"

"Lee doesn't wear boxers."

"...Why do you know that?"

"WELL, THANKS FOR SAYING YES, NEJI! LET'S GO SHOPPING!"

She pulled him along, and off they went to the mall.

-
Arriving there, it was pretty crowded; you could see Gai and Lee in the background, swooning over some rainbow spandex.

"LEE! Look, look, at that fantastic colorful spandex!" Gai exclaimed.

"Gai-sensei! It is so youthful, just like you!" replied Lee.

"Oh, Lee! You great kid!"

"Thank you, Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

Tenten and Neji walked past them, trying to go by unnoticed...oops, too late.

"Look, Gai-sensei! It's our youthful comrades!" Lee screamed, waving at them. "Oh my! Ewww! What's with that shirt Tenten's wearing? Such a dull color...so un-youthful!"

Tenten froze. Evil aura. Doomsday for Lee.

"Oh? Tenten looks angry." Lee said.

Slap.

"Tenten! That hurts! Are you PMSing again!" Lee whined.

Thok.

There goes Lee's spandex, flying away with shuriken.

-
Back to Tenten and Neji's little shopping trip...

"Neji, look over here," Tenten directed him, pointing to a casual clothes shop.

"Hn." he followed her inside.

"Welcome! Can I help you?" the store clerk asked.

"No, we're just looking around," Tenten replied, and the clerk nodded.

They browsed the store, first going into the girls' section.

"Neji, I'm going to go find you something to wear in the boys' place." Tenten stated.

"I can shop for myself." he argued back.

"No, you can't. You wear the same thing everyday. Hiashi buys you all of your clothes, like a mother would."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Whatever, Neji." she mumbled, heading over to the boys' section. "Stay here, I'll come back later, 'kay?"

"Hn."

Neji looked around the girls' section, bored. He sighed, wondering to himself, Why did fate get me into this useless shop?

His eyes wandered around, and planted on something strange. It had two patches...attached on a string, or something...in the underwear section.

He examined it. It had a button on the back. Hn...two patches...must be for my eyes. A sleeping mask? He took a purple one off of the rack, and put it over his head.

"This is kinda cool..." he said to himself. He did a little panda dance with the sleeping mask on.

-
Snap.

Hinata and Hanabi, hiding behind a bunch of clothes, took a picture of him, in his...condition.

"Hah, we can sell this to otou-san! He can put it in the family album!" Hanabi whispered to Hinata.

"Y-yeah," Hinata mumbled, satisfied.
-

Just then, Tenten was walking over to Neji, returning from the boys' section...

Suddenly, she stopped, looking at her boyfriend.

"NEJI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" she screamed, at a very stupid Neji.

"Huh?" he took off the 'sleeping mask', an entirely innocent look on his face.

"Neji. Answer me clearly...Why were you..."

"Hn."

"...wearing a BRA on your HEAD?"

Awkward silence, commence.

"...Oops." he muttered, putting the bra back on the rack.

"Neji, you idiot."

-
Tenten sighed grumpily as they left the mall, emptyhanded.

"God, Neji. You're such a bore." she whined, pouting.

"Hn."

At Tenten's apartment doorsteps, Neji spoke out, breaking the silence.

"By the way. What's a bra?" he asked.

"...Funny, I'd figure you'd know that when we had..."

"Oh. Right. That."

She saw something in his hand. A bag. From the store they were at.

"Neji, I thought we didn't buy anything?"

"Huh?" he looked at what he was holding. "Oh, this. I wanted it."

Realizing it was the bra, she slapped him.

Grabbing his cheek, he hissed, "I was just going to give it to Hinata-sama!"

"That's just wrong." she muttered.

"Fine. I wanted to use it as a mask while I sleep."

"IDIOT!"

BAM.

She slammed the door on him, and shouted from inside. "YOU'RE SUCH A PERVERT, NEJI!"

He shrugged it off as he walked away. Women, he grumbled.

-
When he got back to the Hyuuga compound, he definetely didn't expect what he saw.

A huge picture of himself, in the dining room, with the bra on his head. The picture Hinata and Hanabi had taken. Every Hyuuga was laughing at him when he sat down for dinner.

Faaarrrt...

A whoopee cushion, he thought, glaring at his two cousins, who were cracking up.

Damn women. he hissed, silently.