Stout Little Heart

Chapter 13

Finals Week. If I may say, more like hell week for me, you know the situation. The night after I invited Gakupo for dinner, we became an official couple the next day. I know it's quite unfair to Gakupo to let him think that I love him but I WILL try my best to really love him. If it weren't for that Len, I would've answered Gakupo with a sweet 'yes' and kissed him passionately without reserve. But unfortunately, destiny has other plans. He made me fall for someone I thought loves me back but turns out, it was all a big joke. I sighed. At least, I have Gakupo now. He was an epitome of a perfect boyfriend. Sweet, thoughtful, loyal, understanding, you name it. And he's handsome, and smart too, a bonu8s points for me. Our relationship was almost perfect too, ALMOST. There was no spark, no chemistry. Well, the fault's not his obviously but mine. But then it's only been a day since the 'confession' and maybe, few weeks later I'd fall for him, head first.

The Saturday before Monday, the beginning of the Finals Week, Gakupo came over my house and offered to help me study. I was touched so I kissed him gratefully in the cheek and blushed. I think I'll never get used kissing people first. When I looked up, I saw him smiling at me lovingly.

"Just in the cheek? Is that the best you can do?" He teased with an evil grin playing along his lips.

I slapped him playfully and giggled. "Oh just shut up. If you don't, I'm going to have to kiss you just to close that mouth of yours."

His smile got wider and then he cupped his hands in his mouth and yelled. "I'M SO NOISY! RIN'S GONNA KISS ME!" He laughed loudly.

I punched him hard enough to hurt. "Nice joke. Are you going to help me or not?" I smiled at him.

"Help you on what?" He advanced towards me and smiled devilishly. I took a step backward. What the hell is this guy going to do? He continued to advance towards me and I also continued to take several steps backward. "What the hell Gakupo?" I said nervous already. He chuckled.

"Nervous Rin? Hmmm?" He said seductively and trapped me at a corner. I frowned at him. If he takes advantage on the situation I'd kick his balls. He slowly lowered his head towards mine and pouted his lips as though he was going to kiss me. I shut my eyes tightly and waited for his kiss but it didn't come. When I opened my eyes, I saw him smiling wickedly. It was just a trick!

"Let's go study now." He said and started towards my room. The nerve!

I followed him, still fuming mad, not because I was disappointed at the kiss but because I felt embarrassed. Grrrr…

So, we studied together the whole night. My mom seems very pleased at our progress but my dad was still silent. I shrugged it off, thinking maybe he was just thinking of something.

Gakupo didn't really intend to stay for the night but my mother insisted that he will just sleep at our house for his own protection. I was alarmed. I know something's cooking in my mother's mind.

"But Mom! We don't have a guest room! Where do you suppose Gakupo would sleep, on the couch?" I shrieked.

"No, it's okay really. Anyways, the couch is big enough for me." He smiled at me reassuringly. But my mom cut in.

"Nonsense! You can't sleep on the couch." She waved her hand as if to shoo away some invisible insects.

"But, where is he supposed to sleep Mom?" I asked confusingly.

"Simple. In your room." She looked at me meaningfully. I knew that look. It's her don't-you-dare-argue-with-me-or-else-you're-dead look. I shut my mouth. "Your bed's big enough for too anyway." She started towards their room already. But before disappearing completely, she looked at us and said. "By the way, if you need some protection, there are plenty in our room, don't hesitate to ask. And Gakupo, you can borrow Len's shirts." And she was gone.

It took at a while before absorbing the implication of her statement. PROTECTION? What the hell was she thinking? I glanced at Gakupo and saw him blushing. I grinned.

"HAHA! Gakupo's blushing! HAHA!" I teased him.

When his blush deepened I laughed harder. "Oh my gosh! This is so cool." I walked towards my room. "Let's start studying again." I said.

So yeah, he slept beside me on my bed. Maybe he was really tired, I don't know, but he slept earlier than me. While he was asleep, I stared at his handsome face. God how could I not love this man? He's so sweet, such a gentleman. He's the dream guy everybody wants. But damn this stupid heart of mine! I touched his cheeks and closed my eyes. A little while later, I drifted off to dreamland.

The next week was one hell of a week. It was a nerve-wracking experience for me. So this is how it feels to fail one or more subject. I never really knew it was this heart-stopping for I've always had good grades. Not to brag but I was one of the most intelligent persons here in school so I haven't felt yet the feeling of helplessness when your grades depend on one person. I tried to talk to Len the whole week, just to wish him luck but my courage falters every time I see him. So I did nothing but pray and hang out with Meiko that week. And also of course with Gakupo, now that our relationship's been set. He was always there for me the whole week, guiding me and lifting my spirits up when I feel down. I became very fond of him and loved him like a brother. Yeah, just like a brother but I'm sure that this feeling would soon bloom into a romantic love.

Yeah, finally, the week's over! It was a tradition in our school that all the exam papers are to be given on the last day of the exam week. My heart went racing when they started to call names for the distribution of the papers. Gakupo sensed my nervousness because he sat beside me, held my hand and whispered. "Don't worry; it's going to be alright." I looked at him and smiled warmly.

"Haigo." They called out Meiko. She obviously had high grades for she squealed in delight when they handed out her papers. She looked at me and grinned happily. I grinned back.

"Kagamine Len?" The teacher looked around. "Kagamine Len? Len?" She repeated. "Where's Len?"

A student supplied the answer. "Ma'am, Len flew to America yesterday afternoon, I heard he's staying there for good. And he asked me to give his papers to Rin." He looked at me and smirked.

I stood there, surprised. I looked at Gakupo and he gently nodded his head. The male student who received Len's paper gave it to me along with a letter addressed to me.

"He wants to give you this the moment you receive his paper." He said and excused himself.

When my name was called, I walked slowly towards the teacher, taking my time in preparing myself for the inevitable.

"Move it pig-face!" Someone yelled from behind. I shot him a poisonous glance and continued my way. On the other hand, Gakupo stood up and threatened to hit that guy in the face. The class sergeant-at-arms stopped the commotion before it began.

When the teacher handed me my papers, I took a deep breath and looked at it one by one. Algebra: A++, Physics: A++, Chemistry: A++ and so on with all the other subjects. I sighed in relief. I glanced at Len's papers. Now, my junior high is highly at stake at that bunch of papers. With shaking hands, I skimmed through it. Algebra: A++, Physics: A++, Chemistry: A++, and so on. I looked at it in disbelief and skimmed through it again, slowly this time. He aced all the exams! I'm going to Junior High! I almost screamed in delight. And then I remembered the letter. I stared at it for a moment and then tore the opening. Inside was a blue stationary. Wow, that guy uses stationary? HAHA. I opened it and my eyes got wet when I saw that too-familiar handwriting. It read:

Dearest Rin,

I hope when you read this letter, I aced all the exams. I hope that you have already forgiven me from all the humiliations I caused you. Believe it or not, I fell for you Rin. Since the day you punched my nose, I felt attracted to you. Yes, you may not be slim, but you are really pretty. And really kind too. I had to leave you because I know I can't give you what you deserve. Please understand. I love you more than you'll ever know. I missed, miss and will miss you forever and ever.

Lovingly Yours,

Len.

My eyes blurred. He loved me. Len loved me! I tore the letter into pieces and ran away. Damn him! He better not give me that "I can't give you what you deserve" crap! Doesn't he know he's more that what I deserve? DAMN HIM!