The Train

Chapter 5
Dispersing

I couldn't breathe. I clenched my stomach with one hand and wiped a tear with the other. It was a joyful pain that I never knew existed. I wasn't crying out of sorrow, but out of happiness. Me and Len were in his room. I never knew I could laugh this hard! Len was so wonderful.

"What's so funny?" We heard a voice. It was his mother at his door.

"He is!" I said, still giggling. She smirked.

"Really? Wow. Who would've thought?"

"Haha." Len said sarcastically, wiping a forced tear himself.

"Well, I'm off to the café." She turned to leave but turned back almost immediately. "Oh, and don't forget your cousin's coming over today." She then left like she was suddenly in a rush.

"What?" he yelled suddenly serious. He ran to the door frame. "You never told me-" He was interrupted by the front door's slam. He sighed loudly before returning to his seat next to me on his bed.

"I'm guessing you don't like your cousin." I said.

"It's not that…it's just she can be a little annoying and always makes a mess that I have to clean up." He then stood. "I'm going to go get a snack."

"What time is she coming?" I asked. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"You want anything?" he asked.

"I'm coming." We both walked to the kitchen. He grabbed a banana from the counter and I headed to the refrigerator for an orange. The doorbell rang as I reached for the bag.

"Don't tell me that's her already…" he said aloud heading for the door. I smiled to myself and proceeding on getting my orange.

"Aha! Leeennn~!" I heard a bright, female voice from the other room. It was oddly familiar…

"Hey…" Len said in a disappointing tone. She laughed a familiar laugh.

"You know you're ecstatic to see me." I closed the refrigerator.

"Who's in the kitchen? I thought your mom was out." The voices were getting closer.

"Yeah, it's my friend. She's staying with us for a while." I turned around once I realized they were close to the kitchen. My mouth dropped, and so did the orange. I couldn't believe who was there, standing next to Len.

Miku.

"Miku, this is-"

"Rin?" She finished.

"Miku!" We both basically charged at each other before hugging.

"I can't believe it's you!" She said.

"I know!" I said back. She let go of me.

"I'm so glad you're safe, Rin! You don't know how worried I was."

"Yeah…sorry…but you know why I had to leave." She suddenly had a sad look.

"So…I take it you know each other." Len said.

"Yeah! We've been best friends for a long time. I can't believe I hadn't told you." I said.

"Well, he did know, cuz I told him about you, just he didn't know it was you."

"Good explanation." Len said, and Miku nudged his shoulder.

Miku's P.O.V

"So have you talked to your mother at all?" I asked Rin. While we were sitting on the couch. It was one of those soft couches that go in a half circle almost. Len was sitting beside Rin.

"Nope! And I don't plan to, either." She said and shook her head.

"You shouldn't be that way, Rin. Didn't you say that she couldn't take care of herself even if her life depended on it?"

"Yeah, well that was only cuz I did everything. She's an adult, so I'm sure she knows how to cook and clean to survive." I just sighed.

"I want some leeks. Len, do you have any?"

"I don't know." He was mindlessly playing with strands of Rin's hair.

"You already know to have some when I come over."

"It's not like I knew you were coming! I think we ran out anyway." He argued back.

"Baka, go check!" Len leaned on Rin's shoulder.

"I don't wanna." He protested, and she laughed.

"If you don't get up, I'll throw you in the kitchen. Literally." I actually did throw Len before. I looked over at the wall to see if the hole was still there from last time. It was hidden behind a plant.

"…Fine." He said and rose from the couch. I smirked.

"Thank you, Len-chan!" Rin laughed again as Len walked towards the kitchen.

"You and Len are so close." She said.

"I suppose…but the two of you seem even closer." I leaned closer to her and her face turned red. "See? You're blushing, Rin! And you can't deny it. You're as red as a tomato."

"Well…" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "You remember that boy I told you about? From the park a long time ago?" I nodded. She looked as if she was expecting something. Maybe I was supposed to remember-wait… it all clicked.

"Are you telling me that Len, my cousin Len, is the boy you, like, fell in love with?" I yelled. She waved her arms all in a panic.

"Shh! Keep your voice down! I don't want Len to hear." I looked up and saw Len standing in the doorway behind her. He heard. Oh, he heard alright. And like a lightbulb went off in my head, I had an idea. I shot him another look telling him to keep quiet.

"Okay, okay." I said, following my brilliant plan. "So…do you still like him?" She looked down at her lap.

"Yeah…I think I do…Well, yes…I do, a lot. I really like being around him, and he makes me feel really happy."

"Hm…I don't know…sounds like love to me." I said and examined my nails nonchalantly to play off the charade.

"I'm not so sure about that…but I know that I have a strong feeling towards him."

"Aww! Rin and Len, how cute!"

"Oh, stop Miku."

"Who knows, he might feel the same."

"Maybe." She said. I pointed to him and she followed my point.

"You should ask him."

Rin's P.O.V

I gasped. My eyes were wide. My stomach felt uneasy. Len heard me…everything I said…And Miku knew. Of course she did. She planned it.

I ran upstairs to 'my' room. I never felt so….so…embarrassed!

I had to leave. I couldn't even see Len's face anymore. Not after this. What if he rejected my feelings? I couldn't bear that. I heard knocking at the door and I locked it.

"It's me." It was Miku. I dragged my suitcase from the closet and began packing.

"What are you doing?" She asked slowly.

"Leaving." I replied. My voice cracked. I heard the doorknob rattle a bit and the door opened. "How did you-"

"I know this house like the back of my hand. Now why are you leaving?" she closed the door behind her.

"Miku, how could you do that? Do you know how embarrassed I am? Did you even consider my feelings?"

"Yes, which is why I did that." I turned my head and started packing again.

"So, you're leaving? Where exactly are you going?" I froze. "You had no place to go in the first place. You're lucky you ran into Len." She was right. I was just running away from my problems with no destination again.

"So what am I supposed to do?" I asked. She stood and ran out of the room and came back seconds later with Len. I started to panic again. Miku smiled and pushed him inside before closing the door. It was just me and Len alone. It has been for these past weeks sometimes, but now…it felt different.

"Talk!" Miku yelled from the other side of the door.

It was quiet for a little while longer. I decided to break the silence.

"Len, I'm sorry. I should leave." I looked up at the ceiling.

"What are you apologizing for?" he asked.

"Because I…what I said…I shouldn't have-" I froze. When I looked over Len was in front of me. Our faces were so close. I watched breathlessly as he trailed the back of his hand from my hot cheek down to my chin. He then used his finger to tilt my chin up.

"You said you weren't sure that you loved me." It wasn't a question. I still nodded like it was an answer. "Well, I'm sure about something…" his voice trailed off as he leaned in more and he kissed me. And I kissed back. After a few seconds he pulled away, but I wish he hadn't.

"I love you, Rin."

Weeks later…

"What are you waiting for?" Len urged. I fidgeted beside him.

"I don't wanna."

"But you promised my mom you would." I leaned against his shoulder. I pushed each button slowly, listening to the sound each made. I stared at the green button. Len pushed it. I tried to push the red button, but Len took the phone away from me. He held it against my ear.

"Hello?" I heard a tired, yet recognizable voice.

"Hi, Mom." I replied.

"…Who is this?" I saw Len frown.

"It's me. Rin." Who else would be calling her Mom?

"Oh."

"I just wanted to talk to you. And let you know that I was safe. You know, so you won't have to worry."

"Hm."

"I found that boy I told you about. The one who gave me the ribbon. So yeah, I'm staying with him and his mom. In Tokyo."

"Tokyo?" I felt a little happy. She was surprised, so she had to be worried.

"Yeah."

"So…is that it?" My happiness faded.

"I just wanted you to know where I was."

"Okay. Bye." She hung up.

"…Bye…" I pushed the red button. I looked at the now blank screen and saw a bubble on it. Then another. Len then took the phone away from me again and wrapped his arms around me. Oh, I get it. He was comforting me. And those weren't bubbles. They were tears.

Later, we went to the café. Len was setting up the stage for tonight and I was helping by cleaning the tables. The bell above the door rung as someone walked in. I looked up and saw a man in a business type suit. He had blonde hair.

"Good morning!" I said cheerfully. He looked at me and nodded, turned away then stared at me for a moment.

"Can I get you anything, sir?" Len said in a little harsher tone. He must've noticed. The man then turned towards Len.

"Ah, yes can I have some coffee?" Len nodded and his mother started on making it. After I finished cleaning the table, I went to go put away the cleaning supplies. I couldn't help but notice that man looking at me. I walked over to Len.

"That guy's giving me the creeps…" I whispered.

"Let's just wait until he gets out of here. You wanna go wait in the back?"

"No, I'll be alright. He just ordered coffee right? And he looks like he's on his way to work, anyway." After what seemed like forever, the man finished his coffee and got out his credit card to pay. I looked at the receipt when he signed his name and he thanked us for the drink. I picked up the paper and gasped.

"What's wrong?" Len's mother asked. I shook my head.

"It's nothing…" I was surprised. That man had the same last name as me.

I couldn't stop thinking about yesterday. That really couldn't just be a coincidence, could it? Maybe I read it wrong. I leaned against the counter. Len and his mother were outside getting the shipments.

Ring Ring!

I looked to the door. It was the man again. Crap.

"Good morning!" I said, a little nervously.

"Morning!" he replied back and sat at the counter, where I was.

"So, can I get you anything?"

"Coffee."

"How do you want it?"

"Black." I nodded and started making it. Once finished, I set the cup in front of him.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"No, thank you." He said I simply nodded and stared out the window. "Are you related to that boy back there?" I shook my head.

"No, were just really close friends. I'm an only child." He nodded and sipped his coffee.

"Hm…It's weird. You two could pass off as twins."

"Yeah, we get that a lot." I said. Len and his mom walked back in. I watched his expression turn hard when he saw the creepy guy sitting across the counter. I waved him off, telling him not to worry. Soon enough, he was finished and got out a card from his wallet. I scanned it, the payment was accepted, and grabbed the printed receipt. "Sign here, please!" I pointed to the line at the bottom. He scribbled with the pen and I handed him back his card.

"Well, have a nice day!" he said and headed for the door. "The coffee tasted great, by the way."

"Ah, thanks, you too!" I said. I grabbed the receipt and looked at the name. I gasped. Len just happened to come back out then and ran over to me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"A-are you sure you don't know that guy?" I asked.

"No, I never seen him. Why?"

"His last name…is Kagamine."

"Well…that's not a big deal. Our last name is common, right? I mean, we have the same last name, and we're not related." I looked over at Len, his hand on mine.

"I don't know…things were pretty crazy back then…You two could be long lost twins or something…" Rina stated. My head snapped toward Len's mother. Len glared at her. "Calm down, Rin, it's just a joke."

"Not funny." Len commented.

"What about his first name?" She asked. I looked at the receipt.

"T. Kagamine. That's all he put." Then I froze. T. Kagamine. T. Kagamine. "Takashi Kagamine!"

"Who?" the two asked in unison.

"My father's name is Takashi Kagamine. He has blonde hair and green eyes. He moved to Tokyo years ago…It's all coming back. But…could that really be him?"

"Makes sense to me." Len's mother said.

"I think I need to lie down." I said and headed to my room. Len followed. Once there, I sat on the bed, and pressed a pillow against my face. Len sat beside me. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"I'll leave if you want me to." He said.

"No. Don't. Stay." I said. He laughed and I leaned into his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me as I put the pillow down. "I haven't seen my father in years…"

"Well…you did today…"

"I don't even know if that was really him!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He said. I let out another sigh.

"But, if it was him…what if I missed my chance? To get to know him? I might never find out anything…I have so much to ask him."

"Don't think like that, Rin. You never know, he might come back tomorrow."

"Well, if he does, I'm gonna talk to him."

"Ganbare, Rin!"

"Thanks, Len." I said. We shared a smile.

The next day dragged by slowly. It was probably because I was waiting to see if my possible father would show up. I wouldn't be surprised if I had neck injuries from turning my head so fast every time I heard the welcoming bells. After a while, I got tired of waiting and helped Len set up.

"Can you plug this in over there?"

"Yeah, sure!" he handed me a black cord and I plugged it into the wall.

"Ne, Rin." I turned to Len's voice and saw him pointing. I followed his point to the door, and there he was. Mr. T. Kagamine. Suddenly, a nervous fear washed over me. "Well? Aren't you going to talk to him?" I shook my head.

"I…I don't wanna." He then walked over and reached in his pocket. "Hold your hand out." I did as he told and he placed something in my hand and closed it. I opened it back.

"It's the clover I gave you…" I said.

"For luck."

"H-how is it luck? It's only a 3-leaf clover…"

"It helped me find you again. When we're together…I feel like the luckiest guy in the world." We smiled, and then he wrapped his arms around me.

I walked over to the counter. He was sitting in the same seat as yesterday.

"Welcome, sir, sorry for the wait. Can I get you anything?"

"Coffee?" he replied.

"Black?"

"Sounds good!"

"Coming right up!" I said with a smile that faded as soon as I turned my back on him. I couldn't let Len down. He was watching secretly. I poured the drink in a fragile mug and sat it in front of him. "Here you go!"

"Thank you." He said. I waited for him to take a sip and watched him read something. He frowned and turned it over before taking another sip. I had to ease him into it…but how..? "Hey, are you alright?"

"Ah, yeah, I'm fine…thanks." I replied. What should I say? 'Hey I think you're my father?' this isn't some wacko TV show! Maybe I should ask if he knows my mother…that would prove it.

"Um, excuse me," the man woke me from my thoughts again. I looked up at him. "How much for the strawberry shortcake?"

"Huh? Oh right, sorry it was just added to the menu. Um… it's 300 yen."

"Can I have a piece, then?"

"Sure!" I turned to get one for him.

"I love strawberries. They remind me of my daughter." Good, he was making conversation.

"Really? How so?" I said and placed the desert in front of him.

"They were one of her favorite fruits." Funny, I liked strawberries. I remember I said I liked them when me and my father ate some together.

"What's her name?" I asked. He seemed to hesitate. I held my breath.

"Rin." And there it was. The window of opportunity has opened. Don't let it close, Rin!

"That's my name, too!" I said, trying to keep my voice stable. "And strawberries are one of my favorite fruits as well."

"Yeah, but her absolute favorite fruits are-"

"Oranges?" Time seemed to freeze. He looked at me with an expression that wasn't readable. "On the receipt you signed yesterday, you wrote T. Kagamine. That 'T' stands for Takashi, doesn't it?"

"…It probably just came up on the register screen."

"And your ex-wife's name is Korin, isn't it?"

"How do you-"

"Korin is my mother."

"So, it was him, huh Rin?" Rina said as we drove.

"Yep."

"You two were talking for a long time."

"Yep."

"You okay, Rin?" Len asked from beside me.

"…Yep…"

Once we were back to Len's house, I went directly to my room. I walked over to the window and stared at the stars. The conversation me and my dad had replayed in my mind.

"She's gotten that bad?" he asked.

"Yeah." I answered. He paused for a second.

"I'm so sorry, Rin. I shouldn't have left you with her. I wanted to bring you with me. I really did." I shook my head.

"Please, don't blame yourself. I'm not gonna say I was happy it happened, because I'm not. But it has allowed me to meet important people." Those people were only Miku, Rina, and Len, but they were important.

"So where have you been staying since you left?"

"With Len and his mother." He sighed.

"And how long do you plan on staying?"

"I…haven't really thought about it…" I admitted. "I know, I should leave. I'm just being a burden on them." We seemed to share the same the same thought.

"You could stay with me if you want."

"That would be good." I thought more into it. "Yeah, then I'll be close to Len."

"I…don't think you will."

"Why not? Don't you live here in Tokyo?"

"No…I'm actually here on business. I live in Sapporo."

"S-Sapporo?"

"Hey, Rin, you coming down to eat?" Len called from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, I'll be right there!" I called back. This is for the best. I'm leaving in 3 days. This was never my home. This was never my room. I'm leaving Tokyo. I'm leaving Len.

Len…

My best friend.

My first love.

I held the phone close to my chest. My mother's not too happy about me going to live with dad.

Len walked in the door then.

"Man, it's cold out there." He complained.

"You should wear a scarf or something, so you won't get sick." I told him. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't have one."

"Hey…Len…you like hot chocolate?"

I needed to tell him. I didn't want to. God, I really didn't want to. But I have to leave.

"This is really good, Rin!" he said after taking a sip of the drink I made. I laughed, he had a chocolate mustache.

"Thanks! Uh, you got a little…" he realized what I was saying and wiped it off. I smiled. But frowned right after. "Len…"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"You remember when I spoke to my father the other day?" he nodded. I looked down at my drink to avoid his eyes. "I'm going to go live with him."

He was quiet for a long second. "Well, that's good."

"He lives in Sapporo."

An even longer second.

"Sapporo? Really?" I nodded. I wanted to cry. But I didn't. I wanted to look into his eyes. But I didn't. I wanted to say 'No, I'm totally kidding!' but that's just wishful thinking. "Oh…" is all he said.

Miku came over again. She just had to come over. As if telling Len wasn't hard enough. I couldn't do it. So Len told her for me.

"Sapporo!" she yelled, tears quickly forming. "Rin, you can't! It's already bad enough that you moved from our old neighborhood! Why can't you stay? You aren't kicking her out are you, Len?"

"No, he isn't. It's my decision."

"What?" they both said.

"Yeah."

Miku came for shopping. So that's what we did, me and her.

"I wanna get Len something."

"Really? Like what?" she asked.

"I have no clue." So we went in and out of stores. I saw a few things Len might like, but I decided against them. Soon it was late and we had to return.

"It's too bad you couldn't find him anything. Are you sure he never said he needed anything?"

"Not that I can recall…" then it hit me. "A scarf! Since it's getting cold. He said he didn't have one."

"Well, all the good stores are closed now."

"You're right." An idea popped in my head. "Hey Miku…what if I made him one?"

"Awww! Rin that would be so sweet!" She hugged (smothered) me.

"Please, Miku." She just laughed.

The next day, Len went somewhere and I worked on the scarf. Before Miku left, she brought me some supplies to get started. She promised to come back tomorrow, the day I leave. I focused on the scarf. I know his favorite color is yellow, so that's what color it will be. I wanted to put something on it, but what? His name? My name? A banana? An orange?

"Ouch." I said. I poked my finger. I wanted to take a break, but I wanted to finish before Len got back. But…I was kinda sad. Len just had to pick today, out of all days, to be gone. This might sound selfish, but I wish he would the day with me. I mean, I'm moving all the way to Sapporo for Pete's sake! I sighed. I shouldn't be complaining. Everything will be better when I leave. Len and Rina can go back to their normal lives and I'll soon be forgotten. "Finished." I said to no one. I held up my gift and inspected it for any imperfections before neatly folding it…I should start packing now, I guess.

I wanted to wish on a star, but they were all covered by clouds. I breathed out and watched the little puff that escaped my mouth.

"Hey." I heard a voice behind me. I turned and saw Len at the sliding glass doorway. I smiled.

"Hey." He walked over to me and sat beside me.

"So…you're all packed up to go?" he asked, and I nodded in response. He looked up at the clouds, too.

"It's cold." I complained. He laughed.

"Well, it's gonna be even colder all the way in Sapporo."

"Yeah…Hey Len," I started. He looked over at me, my eyes stayed fixed on the dark sky. "Last time it was you who moved away. I never thought that I could become so attached to a person in such a small amount of time. That day, the day we met, was the day my life started going downhill. But…I don't regret it. I've always had this small flicker of hope that we'd meet again. And look what happened?" I looked over at him. He reached and pulled me closer.

"Rin, ever since I met you at that park, there wasn't a day I haven't thought about you. I've always wondered why…why out of every person I've met you kept coming into mind? But, now I realize…I don't know when, or how, especially because we were so little, but I've fallen I'm love with you, Rin."

I was speechless. I couldn't deny it, push it aside, or brush it off. I was in love with Len too. I just needed to tell him…

"Len, I lo-"

"Rin," Len's mother was at the doorway. "You should get some sleep. You have to be on time for the train so you won't miss your flight." She said.

"Hai." Len stood and pulled me up as well. He gave me a quick kiss on my lips before I went to my room.

Why does everything have to be so hard..?

I stared at the ticket in my gloved hands. The blurry voices from the intercom mixed in with the light chatter of the other waiting passengers. I peeked in my messenger bag and saw the scarf I made for Len.

"Ah! Rin this is so cute! It was like it was made by a professional!" Miku said earlier.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, she laughed.

"Be sure to give it to him Rin." She said and hugged me. I hugged back. "Ganbatte!"

"Rin." A voice pulled me from my recent memory. I looked over and Len held out a gift-wrapped box to me.

"What's this?" I asked and held it.

"Open it." He urged. I opened the box and inside was a snow-white colored ribbon.

"Len! This is…" He took out the ribbon and tied it in my hair. A rush of emotions went through me. "Len…wait, I have something for you, too." I reached into my bag and pulled out the scarf. "I…I made this for you."

"So that's why you asked if I had a scarf! Thanks, Rin, I love it!" he said and hugged me.

"Yeah, but it's just any old scarf. Anyone could make one."

"But it wasn't made by just 'anybody,' it was made by you." I looked over and saw my reflection on a mirror on the wall. I almost didn't recognize myself.

"Yeah but," I turned back and looked up into his eyes, "This ribbon is exactly like the one you gave me the day we met, but the scarf-"

"Is a reminder of the promise?" He interrupted.

"What promise?" I asked, but before he could open his mouth, the intercom bells rang.

"Attention all passengers, the Shinseki train heading to BLANK Station will be arriving momentarily. Please prepare to board."

A pain struck my heart, and I had the urge to cling to him and not let go.

"W-What promise?" I asked surprised by how my voice cracked.

"The promise that we'll still see each other. It won't be as long as the last time we said goodbye. I'm not gonna lose you again."

"Len…"I was interrupted again, this time by Len's lips. I was the one to pull away. "The train's here…" he reached over and began to tug along my suitcase and I followed. And now… I turned to face him. "I'm not saying goodbye, Len."

"I don't want to either, Rin." When he said my name, tears stung at my eyes, but I'm not going to cry in front of him.

"Promise you'll keep your promise." I told him.

"Of course I promise, Rin."

"I love you, Len."

I ran on the train. I turned to Len and the doors closed in front of me. I waved and the train began moving. I watched as he waved, until he was no longer visible.

The ride to the airport was agonizing. Every second I had a hope that the train would go backwards, yet that very hope would falter by the next. The hours dragged on and I clutched the ribbon every time I felt like crying, which was the whole ride. Finally, it was time to exit the train. I found my father and we were boarding the plane. We started to ascend to the sky as I caught a final glimpse of the train tracks before it was covered by the clouds.

One day, I'm going to get on that train.

To come back to you, Len.

I promise.