Butterflies Rin X Len

Chapter 2

It's Teto.

"Hi Rinny!" she says as she bounds in the door, pink pigtails bouncing. I glance out into the hallway, then close the door behind her and turn around to see her staring inquisitively at me.

"What's wrong?" she asks. She leans forward. "Is it Len?" I stare at her, dumbfounded. Teto is probably the most naïve, innocent person I know, but she can be surprisingly observant and has even sometimes displayed moments of great clarity and intelligence. This may be one of those times, since Len and I have been very careful ever since IT happened, so no one would know that there was any difference from before. However, it appears that this hasn't gotten by Teto.

"What are you talking about? Why would me being upset have anything to do with Len?" I say, sitting down at my desk by the windows, grabbing a pen, trying my hardest to bluff my way out. I twirl the pen nervously.

"Rinny! You can't fool me!" she says sweetly, reaching out and hugging me. "First of all, you guys were supposed to practice, and then five minutes ago you ran out of the yard alone and crying. I saw it all from upstairs." She grins at me, and then twirls in a little circle.

I feel stupid.

"He just wasn't being nice, you know Len!" I say with forced carelessness, continuing to twirl the pen. "I guess I was just being too sensitive!" I roll my eyes.

She stares at me.

"Ok," she says slowly, unconvinced. "Well you wanna come with me, Miku, and Gakupo to go get school supplies tomorrow and some bread?" She licks her lips. Teto is crazy about bread. Kaito is always telling her she's going to get fat, eating nothing but carbs, but Teto never cares she's so tiny anyways. We used to be around the same size, but now I've grown more, and it seems like Teto hasn't grown at all! Must be the bread. I decide to go with them, and Teto leaves to go tell Gakupo. I sit down by the window again, searching.

I had completely forgotten about school. We are starting Monday, and I hadn't even thought about it! Meiko, Gakupo, and Luka had graduated a while ago, and Kaito had graduated last year, but Miku and Teto are seniors, and Len and I are juniors. We were all forced to stop being homeschooled after middle school, when Meiko refused to try and teach us anymore, claiming the alcohol had wiped her brain of any high school subjects, but I think she just wanted us out of her hair.

Personally, I hated high school, and not just because of what had happened between Len and I. I was teased by other kids, mostly boys, and it's not like I was very social. I was too "abrasive", Miku had said. Miku was much more popular, just like she always is. It would be really easy to hate her, but she can be so sweet that you can't. Unfortunately, with her being a year older, I don't see her much at school, and the same for Teto. As for Len, he was more popular than I was, since all the girls thought he was cute, and Len was just "likable." Not that I was jealous. The only thing Len really got teased about was the fact that he had never dated anyone or had a girlfriend. I always wondered why, and secretly hoped it might be because of me. Not that I had ever had a boyfriend or anything either. Boys were trouble, and after Len, other boys just seem stupid, or there's always something wrong with them. They just weren't Len, I guess. But I know Len, and one of his worst traits, in my opinion, was that he cared way too much about what everyone thought about him, excluding myself. I don't think he cares about me at all sometimes. But then again…

I touch my lips, pressing on them slightly to make them hurt a bit. I hadn't been kissed in a long time. It had felt perfect, Len's lips against mine, the feel of his hands pressing on my back. I flush and get up from the window. I needed to stop thinking about it. We were over, had BEEN over, so there was no reason to revisit stupid feelings. But as I get up, I catch a glimpse of Len walking out into our yard, heading towards the house. Without thinking about it, I touch my lips again, wishing.

Len P.O.V

"Rin!" I call, but she is already almost out of sight, and definitely out of earshot. I helplessly watch her disappear, the white of her bow disappearing into the leaves. Angrily I pound the dusty ground. Damn it! I feel like I can never do anything right. I was supposed to tell her that I missed her, that I wanted to really TALK to her, not insult her, kiss her, and then make her cry! The only good thing, other than actually getting to kiss her, was that for a second, she kissed me back. She must have some feelings then! She can't hate me, at least not completely. There was some hope then! But I still wished it had lasted longer, that feeling of brief relief from having to always keep her at arm's length, to be able to hold her close… I try to stop thinking and put my head in my hands. I know I must look stupid, sitting here on the ground, covered in dirt and practically having a fit.

But then I remember afterwards, and forget all about how I look… I've always hated seeing Rin cry; it makes me feel almost broken. Rin is always so independent and silly, so when she is upset enough to cry, I can't help but want to fix it for her. When we were little and she would cry, I would give or promise her anything to make her stop crying, but when that didn't work, I would sing to her. She used to love hearing me sing, she said it was comforting. But back then the only things that used to make her cry were thunderstorms; she's always hated them. Whenever there was lightning, she'd immediately get a deer-in-the-headlights look. If there were storms at night, I would automatically wake up whenever there was a storm, not because I was afraid of storms, but because she would scoot over to my side and cling to me until it was over. I still wake up every time there's a storm, only now I'm alone. I don't know what Rin does now; I know she still hates them. I sigh. Now I'm the thing that makes her cry. When I saw her crying, I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and hold her, she looked so small and sad, her blue eyes glistening, cheeks pink. But now what to do? I can't try and talk to her now, and we were supposed to practice…

I pick myself off the ground and attempt to brush the dust and leaves off, but eventually give up; it's just a little dirt. I walk slowly through the woods, wondering what she's thinking now. I gaze upwards to see the patches of bright blue that peek through the golden leaves. I wish I was up there, instead of depressed down here on the ground. As I make it into the yard, I look for Rin's window, and see a flash of gold and white. Was she watching for me? I feel a small flutter of hope. I try to brush myself off a bit more and go inside, hoping to run into her, but suddenly Gakupo comes around the house, and I almost run into him.

"Whoa there Len. If you ran into me, you could have knocked me over, and then there would be a lawsuit." He says, lifting his eyebrows suggestively. Gakupo is strange and a proud perv, but he's totally harmless. Unfortunately, we learned that the hard way. The first time we all met him, he said something pervy to Miku, trying to be funny, but instead got punched in the face by Kaito. I honestly think he got lucky, because if Kaito hadn't punched him, Miku would've, and I'd bet she punches even harder than Kaito.

"Where's Rin? Aren't you guys supposed to be practicing?" he says. He's changed into his purple and white performance outfit, so I guess he was ordered to do a dress rehearsal by Meiko this morning. I hadn't really paid attention; I had been trying to sneak looks at Rin without her noticing.

"It was canceled." I say dryly. He gives me a confused look and absentmindedly scratches his long hair.

"Rolling around on the ground Len?" Gakupo says slinkely, pointing at the dirt. I blush and punch him in the arm, although for once, he's on the right track.

"I just fell." I mumble, somewhat impatiently, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I want to see how Rin is.

"Well what are you going to do now? I already finished, so I've got nothing to do. You wanna do something?"

"Nah, I don't really feel like doing anything." I say, trying to crack a smile, but it's hard. Gakupo raises his eyebrows, and I gulp, praying he won't ask why.

"Ok. I'll see you later then?" he says.

"Yea, yea. See ya." I say, relieved. I wave as he turns away to head back around the corner. I don't wait for him to disappear before I run across the grass onto the porch. I pull open the door and let the screen door slam behind me as I rush into the house. However, no one is in sight but Teto, who sits demurely at the table, gazing at me with large eyes while chewing on one of Mikus leeks. She swallows.

"Watcha doing?" she says. I feel myself start to sweat. Why does everyone want to know my business?

"Oh ya know… just running… for exercise." She says nothing, just stares some more while chewing. "So now, I'll just go upstairs, got to change… all sweaty!" I say with a nervous laugh. I am way too paranoid.

"And dirty." She says pointedly. Damn.

"Yup… I fell! Silly me… Bye Teto!" I say, backing away towards the stairs. She waves and continues chewing. I trip over the first step, but don't stop or look back as I continue up the stairs. Once in the hallway, I walk quietly and then stand in front of Rin's door. It's closed. I stare stupidly at it, as if it had some complex lock on it. Losing courage, I turn and grab clothes from my room before heading to the bathroom. Might as well change anyways. However, that door is closed too, and someone is taking a shower. I lean in, my ear close to the door, then suddenly hear the light sound of Rin's voice. She's singing. I listen hard, trying to figure out what song it is, and also just to listen for the melodic sound of her voice. She's singing Meltdown, a song she wrote on her own recently. I thought it was wonderful, but didn't tell her.

I slid down the wall, probably leaving tracks of dust, and sit outside the door. I feel so tired all of a sudden. I just want to sleep, get away from everything. I put my head on my knees, and just listen to her voice as I drift off, my clothes still clutched in one of my hands.

Rin P.O.V

I walk across the tiled floor, my body wrapped in my robe, and open the door, blinking as the cold air hits me and steam rushes out. However, I stop after one step outside the bathroom door, because Len sits there, right outside! I blush, horrified. What is he doing here? Did he hear me singing? Not like he doesn't everyday but… Then I see he's sleeping. His hair, still dusty, falls over his face, and his face rests adorably on his knees. He doesn't snore, just breathes evenly in and out, just like I remember. I stare, confused. He's sleeping outside the bathroom. He must have been planning to shower, because he's got fresh clothes clutched in his hand.

I'm not sure what to do, I can't leave him here. I clutch at my soft robe nervously, then lean down and poke his head gently.

"Len." I whisper loudly. He starts awake, his eyes blinking sleepily from beneath his bangs.

"Wha- Oh Rin…" he looks confused. I blush, then suddenly feel something rushing up from inside.

"What are you doing out here? Were you spying on me? Perv!" I say, before turning around swiftly and marching to my room. I feel the blush deepen as I sit down on my bed, both of my hands covering my mouth, trying to stifle the laughter. I don't know why, but it's too funny. Probably just me having a breakdown because of stress, but after everything this morning, and the shock… I just laugh, rolling all over my comforter, as I try to suppress my giggles. Eventually, I manage to stop. I roll over, and walk to my closet, flinging open the door and then scanning the rows of bright fabrics. I decide to pick out something really cute, just to make myself feel confident, because eventually when I have to come out of my room and face Len after all of this, I will need it.

The next morning isn't very bright and beautiful; instead the sky is filled with fray clouds that cast a dark shadow over everything. I wake up in the weak light with a slight headache, even though I went to bed early. Dinner was awkward, me and Len saying nothing to each other for the rest of the night, but luckily I don't think anyone noticed. Instead I just stared down into my food and tried to stay in the conversation. But Len said almost nothing to anyone, and although he is more on the quiet side, it seemed unusual. I bet it was because I yelled at him. I feel bad, but it wasn't like I could say anything to him.

I get out of bed quicker than usual, because we need to go get school supplies today. I walk over to my closet and decide on a long sleeved pink t-shirt and a purple skirt. Might as well wear a skirt while it's still nice outside. I look in the mirror and make a face. I look so plain. Miku always looks so cool with her long hair, Teto always dresses so cute, Meiko looks sophisticated, Luka looks grown-up. I look… plain. Short yellow hair, blue eyes, no figure. Nothing special. I sigh. No wonder I'm made fun of at school. I shake my head. There's no reason to be depressed! I need to shake these silly feelings. Sometimes I wish I had none at all! I grab my bag and straighten my bow as I head downstairs to get some breakfast before we leave. At least Len won't be with us today, so I won't be distracted… but at the same time, I really do wish he was coming too.

Len P.O.V.

I wake up to find a gray day. Great. Another thing to add to my depression, I think as I turn away from the window and lay back down. Might as well stay in bed today. Rin hates me. Last night at dinner, she completely ignored me, and didn't even say goodnight. I turn my head and groan into my pillow. I'm such a big baby. I need to get over myself. But as lay with my misery, I hear a click outside my door. I sit up, listening intently. Outside my door, there are light footsteps. Rin. What is she doing up so early? I almost always get up before her, when we were younger I woke her up every morning. I grab a shirt to pull over my bare chest and stumble towards the door. There's stuff all over my carpet, mostly paper, books, and clothes, but I never bother to pick it up, I know where everything is. But it does kinda make it hard to walk. I open the door, and walk towards the end of the hallway, where Gakupo has appeared.

"Morning Len." He says sleepily. He's got on pajama pants on, but no shirt, so he must of just woken up too.

"Hey." I say, craning my neck to try and find Rin. "What's happening?"

"Nothing really. Oh no wait, Kaito is taking the car to go take the girls school shopping or something." I'm not that interested, but I wonder if Rin is going.

"All the girls?" I ask.

"Well not Luka and Meiko, cuz they don't need that stuff, but yeah everyone else I heard."

"Oh, well I better go too then." I say casually, leaning up against the painted wall. Gakupo looks at me strangely.

"You want to go with Kaito and the girls?" he says slowly.

"Well… I need school supplies too." I reply. He shrugs, the scratches his shoulder absentmindedly.

"You better hurry then, they're leaving soon." I nod, then brush past him to head down the stairs, to spot Kaito, who's got the keys and is heading to the car.

"Hey, I just wanted to catch you guys before you left, because I need to get supplies too." I say.

"Cool. We'll wait in the car ok?" Kaito replied, sliding on his sunglasses. I hold back from rolling my eyes a little, because it's not sunny out, Kaito is just trying to look cool. He however, just flashes me a huge smile and nods his head as he leaves. I sigh at his silliness before turning around to fly up the wood steps. I hurriedly try to decide what to wear once I'm in my room, trying to find something that will make me look cool. I decide on long khaki shorts and a yellow t-shirt over a long sleeved black shirt. I put my hair up, although half of it falls out immediately anyways before rushing out the door.

After I pound down the steps, I wave high to Luka, but she stops me before I can get to the door.

"Len," she says, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Are you ok? You seemed a little down last night, and someone mentioned that you were acting strangely." She looks worried, and I feel bad for having to lie to Luka. She's always been great, practically a mom to us all ever since she got here. She's got a beautiful voice, and is one of the kindest people I've ever known. I actually feel like telling her what has been going on, just to get it out, but I hold it back. I don't think Luka would judge or anything, but it's already hard to keep secrets in this house. I smile at her and pat her hand.

"I'm fine, I was just tired." I say. But she still looks concerned, staring silently at me, worry in her eyes. After a beat, she leans in to hug me and I blush.

"Ok, but if you want to talk, you tell me ok?" I nod, then wave again as I back out the door. In the driveway, Kaito stands by the car, looking into one of the side mirrors. This car is one we've had forever; it's small, kind of old and faded looking, and a strange gray-green color. But Kaito swears it's the most dependable car, so we've kept it, even though it doesn't fit all of us in the house. Kaito sees me and straightens up.

"Hey Len, ready to leave?"

"Yea, I'm ready." I reply, sliding my eyes towards the car. I spot Rin almost immediately, and she doesn't look very happy to see me.

"Cool, hop in. looks like there's a spot by Rin." He says as he slides into the driver's seat, grinning at Miku. I open the car door and climb in and sit next to Rin on the leather seat, knowing that this is so not a good idea. The second I brush up against her, she stiffens.

"Sorry." I mumble, sneaking a look at her, but she has her head turned towards the window on Teto's right. She doesn't look at me, but I can tell her face is red.

"Geez Len, I didn't think you would want to come with us girls!" Miku says, turning around to look at us in the backseat, her long aqua pigtails draped all over the gear shift as she turns. She rests her head on the shoulder of her seat.

"Yea, we girls are so gross with our cooties!" Kaito said in a high falsetto voice, waving one hand around obnoxiously while driving. Miku punches his arm lightly, giggling. I don't look at Rin, but then Teto leans forward and pipes up.

"Kaito, you're not a girl! And if you were, then why would Miku be dating you?" she says, confused. Miku and Kaito snicker, and normally I would, but I'm too busy watching Rin out of the corner of my eye. She doesn't either, just stares out the window, a blank stare on her face. I tug on my shirt, aching with wanting to know what she's thinking.

Suddenly Kaito stomps on the brake, and being typical teenagers, none of us are wearing our seatbelts, so Teto ends up sprawled on the floor, and Rin grabs onto me in order to avoid falling on me again. I instinctively grab her waist, and she leans into me, pressing her back against my front. Whoops, I think not so regrettably.

"Woah! Did you see that cat?" Kaito says, peering out of the windshield like one might appear.

"There was no cat stupid, that's called you not seeing a stop sign!" Miku scolds. Teto groans and holds her head.

"Oww! That hurt!" she exclaims, but is suddenly fine when she spots a mint underneath the seat. She slips her small arm underneath, trying to fish it out. At this angle, I can't help notice how soft Rin's skin is, and how silky her hair looks. I lean my head onto hers, and then she turns and looks up at me.

"Are you ok?" she asks, her beautiful eyes boring into mine. Although she is genuinely concerned, I'm suddenly aware of what I'm doing, and in the same moment, she is too.

"Of course I'm ok." I say coldly, regrettably pulling my hands away. She releases her grip and pushes herself closer to Teto, who has climbed back into her seat after successfully retrieving the mint. I immediately feel horrible. Len Kagamine screws up again I think sadly, as I watch Rin turn away from me, becoming engrossed with whatever Miku was saying.