A Diary's Worth A Trillion Words

Chapter 15
Thinking

This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine

Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…

Age: 14

Date: 10/14/11

Subject: Thinking

I'm really glad that Rin's feeling better; she even claimed she felt well enough that she could've gone to school today if it weren't the weekend… but without having to take care of her so often, I have more free time to wander in my thoughts..

I'm…slightly confused. I find myself questioning whether or not I treat Rin like any other twin brother… I don't exactly have too many brother-sister twins to compare to, but I know a few other pairs of siblings…

All of them are constantly arguing and getting on each others nerves. They complain about how 'their siblings are sooo annoying' and such…

But Rin and I… ever since I can remember, other than a small amount of fairly rare occurrences, the only 'fighting' we do is teasing horseplay. I find myself happiest in her company because I am comforted by the fact that I can count on her almost always understanding everything I go through; we ARE twins, after all... she's the first person I see when I wake up, and the one I can trust to keep every single one of my secrets… We've spent so much time together in our lives. Everything we've gone through in our 14 ½ years of existence, good or bad, we've gone through together. When she was sick, I couldn't help but have nervous thoughts of the possible worst case scenario. I kept wondering, "Oh my God, is it possible this isn't just the flu? Is it deadly?" Despite the other Vocaloid's comforting words denying that it was anything serious, I still couldn't help…

I… I didn't know what I'd do if I lost her…I couldn't see myself living a life without my twin sister…

…Is that normal?

I don't know…

It's not just that that's on my mind though… When I told her that I'd stayed up all night to make sure she was fine…the look on her face was… it was cute…Is…Is it normal to say that?

…when I noticed it…it was odd…I felt…happy? I don't know… I just wanted to be closer to her and hold her in my arms…I wanted to inform her how adorable she looked…I…

This isn't normal.

This CAN'T be normal.

But if it's not normal, what is it?

Wait…is it just me that's… 'not-normal', or is Rin like this, too?

I don't know…

… not knowing things sucks ass.

And I mean SERIOUSLY sucks ass.

Ugh.

I give up for now…who needs to comprehend things right?... that's really quite a pathetic attempt to see good in this situation… however, I think I'm going to attempt to forget about things for a while… take a break… and go to sleep. I'll cuddle up next to my twin for warmth, dream my dreams, and enjoy waking up to see her as I always do.

-brb-

Rin just walked in. That's my cue for bed. Oyasuminasai!