A Diary's Worth A Trillion Words

Chapter 13
I'm Confused

This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine

Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…

Age: 14

Date: 10/10/11

Subject: I'm confused…

Rin didn't look good today… She woke up drenched in sweat, taking shallow, rapid breaths. I quickly woke her up and fetched a thermometer, and I discovered that her temperature had risen 3 ½ degrees over the night.

It was really kind of scary… I've done a lot of PVs with Rin, and I'm used to seeing her looking this pitiful when she's acting and when using fake props and whatnot… but this wasn't an act… and the fact that, in almost every one of those PVs, Rin DIES…

It really didn't help me when it comes to worrying.

I stayed home from school today with her, getting her anything she wanted and making sure she was drinking plenty of water. It was kind of scary how little she complained when I asked her to do something…

"Rin, you're gunna have to drink the rest of the water. You need to hydrate your body so that it'll recover faster."

"'kay."

Usually, even at such a small suggestion, I would've gotten a whole bunch of complaints and whatnot…

It's really worrying to see my sister this way… I don't like it. I want her to get better as soon as possible…

There's another thing that-, well, I guess it's not as worrying as it is confusing…Rin.. she's.. the fever makes her act kind of weird. She'll randomly say odd things, or do something random out of the blue (and not in the usual Rin way.)

I find her most reoccurring statement is a simple, "I love you." I always assure her that I love her too, but almost every time, she gets this upset look on her face… I don't understand.. was I not supposed to say that?

Rin's also hugged me a lot since the fever has taken a hold of her. When I feel her quivering against me, I feel an overwhelming desire to hold her close and comfort her: let her know everything will be alright.

That's normal.. right? Why is it that the saddened look in her eyes after I tell her 'I love her' seems to prove me wrong?

I dunno… It's weird… I can't tell who's confusing me more right now, Rin or myself. Maybe we're equal in ability to confuse me? We are twins after all.

Rin's calling for me again, I have to go. I can think about everything some other time.